Random Shit Story #1 - It Is Shit



Yes, it's really some random shit story I had. Just promise me you won't tell your mom, okay?



SPOILER ALERT : IT REALLY IS SHIT. STOP READING WHILE YOU CAN.



You see, I'm from Malacca and the people over there are so fond of hot and spicy food. It's like they can never live a day without stuffing chili paste or chili powder or whatever-hot-and-spicy-element-there-is chili something up their mouth, just to show off how much they love spicy food.



And as for me too, aku suke makan pedaih :">



Yes, I do love them. And me being here in overseas just make me miss all those spicy foods I can get back in Malaysia.



Yang lagi best, aku jd lebih suke plak men gigit2 cili kat cni. Dlu kemain aku dok tgk je kakak aku potong cili padi sje2 nk gigit skali dgn nasi lauk sume kan, aku heran gile, ape jada? Tak takut appendiks ke?



Sorry eika. Gurau je.



So, turns out I do love chili just like my sis does after all. Tp pedas2 pon, ade jgk la slack die kan.



And about my story, you do understand how FUCKED UP it feels bile ko tgh gile babi pukimak pedas xhengat pedih2 lidah, then ko g tibai minum air panas2.



Btol tak btol tak? Cam fuck kan? Ha, cuba bayangkan perasaan itu sampai abes entry ini ok.



Well, the story happened when I was spending my holiday at Bean's house. And at that night, it was my turn to cook dinner for my friends. So off I went to the nearest convenience store to buy noodles and stuffs because all I thought at that time was to make some fried noodles. Haha yeah. :">



Then bile aku kembali ke dapur, aku start la masak2. Potong2 bawang, cili2 nk kasi tumis kan. Mula2 aku kuarkan 6-7btg cili padi tu. Sbb aku bajet nk masak utk 3org kan, so tu kire ok kut.



Then from that moment, the nightmare starts.



Tiba2 aku rs cm xbest.



"Eh, mne cukup ni 6-7 cili. Klu 3org makan, baik aku tumis 10-12 cili. Msti lagi sedap. Aku suke makan pedaih :"> Yummy!"



Pny la mangkok hayon aku g tibai wat sume tu. 12cili. Masak2, then panas2 penuh keseronokan aku g tibai mee tu panas2 ofkos la panas2 kan! sedap kot! dgn Bajau.



First suap rasa ok. Boleh tahan lg. 3-4 kali mule le meremang bulu roma.



Sedap memang sedap. Tp pedas mcm gampang. Dah la panas2 bru masak. Aku pon xthn. Nanges2 aku mkn.



Lidah trasa pedih, perut trasa azab neraka. /hiperbola



Tp ape2pon, ttp diabeskan la. Bknnya xsedap lgsg. Dh penat2 masak, sian aku :(



So dh mkn, kenyang, senang hati, lepak2, then last2 tdo.



And esok paginya, mcm biasa, bdn manusia melakukan proses menukarkan makanan yg lazat di dlm perut kepada tahi2 yg wangi. So I went to the toilet that morning.



And FYI, toilets in Japan are not like in Malaysia. Myb la ade satu dua, tp mmg aku jarang sgt la jmp. Pnh jmp skali je la pon rasanya kat Malaysia jamban cmni. Jamban duduk, and die mcm ade button2 kat sblh kanan ko, and when you're done with all ur shit, you can touch that button and kuar la pancutan air dr dlm jamban yg pancut NOK HOROM pny kuat smpi berdarah juboq bak kata nazef kat buntut. Yes, straight to your asshole.



And even worse, at that time it was really2 cold over there, even in the house was cold, so the water temperature was kinda hot, yela nk kasi selesa kan. But hey, I mean, quite hot. No. Really hot. I just dunno why. Mungkin Tuhan nk tunjuk and bagi balasan.



So, last night I ate a whole plate of extremely hot and spicy made mee goreng and today I have to uh, you know. tee hee :">



And kepukian tu mula la berlaku the moment the first shit dan seterus2nya came out from ur asshole, ha time tu la trasa pedih juboq. Seolah2 mcm ko tgh makan bnda pedas. Bezanya kali ni makanan tu kuar dr mulut ko :"> And still, juboq ko rasa pedih xhengat. Well, you know what I mean, losers.



Penuh cabai. Pedih and rasa pedaih. Mcm gmpg. Puki.



Pastu nak2 plak dh abes berak sume, tanpa tahu ape2, tekan button air panas pancut. Maka terpancutlah ia menembak lubang juboq anda.



NOHHHH.



And that's why I asked y'all to be very very clear about imagining how it feels when drinking hot water time mulut tgh kepedasan mcm gmpg.



Yeah, the same feeling, but this time, it happened to your asshole. Yes, YOUR fucking asshole.



FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU









p/s : Ignore the harsh words. Sometimes I use it to show how passionate I am.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

oh.zaid suka makan pEDaiH.

zedRadzai said...

ya ya.

Anonymous said...

"mcm ade button2 kat sblh kanan ko, and when you're done with all ur shit, you can touch that button and kuar la pancutan air dr dlm jamban" --- err, BIDET was it? :v

zedRadzai said...

no, BIDET is for wimmen. sbb arah pancutan dan kelajuan tembakan berbeza utk para wanita. if you know what I mean.

Anonymous said...

layan gak pakai washlet,macam kene anal

-douteisama-

zedRadzai said...

@douteisama
layan mmg layan wakaka. tp
tp
tp

pedas tu bro.
sakit
pedih :(