Life #9 - Ciggies

Well, for once when I was a child, a teenager perhaps, I never ever thought that by smoking could make you look cool.

And I never did understand why people smoke at the first place. Is it that delicious, or by any point does it relieves the smoker? The taste suck btw, those freaking bitter smoke flowing through your lungs and out they go just like that, leaving behind all the toxic in your body and by 10 years, congratulations but you'll be dead caused by cancer.

Ugh. *scared*

Like in my junior and senior high school, well of course smoking were strictly prohibited there, right? And good for me, I was a senior prefect at those precious times (yeah yeah) and like seriously, I really hate those mafackas who really don't understand the school rules. Heck, I even hate my buddies for being a smoker at that time. HA HA.

It's just annoying, man. Those smoke smelled really bad, and I really didn't like it when those smells sticks on your clothes and turn your lips being a bit darker and whoops, kantoi sudah dgn mak pak isap rokok.


Well, those are just opinions I feel when I was like 15 year old kid.

But, now, heck I'm a smoker, too. Now what does that makes you feel? Fukken hypocrite la this person.

Hellllllll, no.

Yeah, literally I was a bit 'shy2-cat' to show to other people that I smoke. But that's just before 4-5 months ago.

And by having a breakdown, here reborns the new zaidRadzai who is happily living his life although it wasn't the life that he'd ever dreamt of.

I become fierce, I become stronger, more mature, nothing hypocrite about me in the internet or the real life and such, so thanks to you buddy :)

Stoppit, will you, the entry's about ciggies, not your fucked-up life.

But hey, I'm grateful about Syda, and Fiqa and Aizat and can't wait to go for a double-date with them.

Shut up.


Ok, back to my topic. Well, since I came here, I'm all alone in my room, in front of the computer, and sometimes when I'm studying, fuck I'm bored.

So, off I went to nearest convenience store to buy a pack of ciggies just to fill in my free time while doing nothing and just smoke those craps till my lungs getting dirty. *sigh*

As you can see, it's tough being here. I'm always stressed, I sighs all the time, I feel sensitive like an old women, and I get angry a lot, but I kept them to myself, so let's just say smoking was another way to keep me calm.

Tegar kan?

But nothing to worry about, because I'm really reaaaalllly gonna stop smoking before getting back to Malaysia for good.


Or even when I'm getting married?

Or when my wife's getting pregnant?

Or when she delivers my baby?


Fuck, am I gonna be smoker for a lifetime? That sucks, dude.


But, no matter what the reason is, being a smoker doesn't mean you don't care about other persons. So just get back to a normal life, if being a smoker is what you choose, then might as well be a good one.

Sayangi keluarga dan sahabat-sahabat anda.

P/s : I'm screwed in here. Get me out.


pailang said...

hai zaid. lama x jumpa tee hee TEE HEE!

risalah ko kali ni berbaur kritisma terhadap diri sendiri la. TEE HEE

zedRadzai said...

haha lately not in the mood to bash people la.
nnti ade idea nk elaborate kasi best2 aku update entry baru

thx for reading btw
tee hee

kamil said...


zedRadzai said...

yeah, fierce. don't get personal with me :">