Brix #3 - Sex News Rules!

So I was lurking around /k/ and I just found a thread about yeah, you know, Sex Related News. Thanks to Shakaff for posting the link to me.

And the thread's name was 07 May 10 Sex Related News, which means the thread owner just posted a few links about news from Metro (yeap, Harian Metro, which else?) that was specifically about SEX SEX SEX SEX YEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

I know, sex stories sells, but if you happened to read it on the news like everyday, you yourself could consider being such a douche bag for reading those shits like always and enjoice! Yes, please feel ashamed...

But this time guys, 4-5 stories in a day? All sex-related and seriously the titles were kinda interesting though. Which naturally attracts us readers to have a peek and yes, upon knowing how badly forbidden those stories were, makes us people had the eager more to read about it and feel UGHHH, WOWOWOWOW, LOLOLWTF, WHOOT, and so on.

Come on now.

Enough of those shits. Obviously those news were well-written.

I don't know whether or not those news were true, well I don't give a damn, lantak la, janji sedap baca and there goes Harian Metro berjaya mendapatkan bilangan pembaca yang ramai since 1993 and turns out their readers now could reach till 2.2-2.4 million in 2009.

Whoot! I fukken love Malaysia!

Nah, just read these news, mafackas. News with really attracting headlines.

Suami cekup isteri curang

Saya tidak menyesal

Threesome : Pulih dara warisan ibu, 2 remaja dibaham tok muda

Hilang 'Mahkota' dalam tandas

Yeah, you just read it. Screw you. I didn't read it at all. I just had a little peek only :">

But you know what I did read?

Here, another story. Fukken awesome. Outrageously mind-blasting. Extremely interesting.

And yeah, it's from another country, coz you know, globally, Malaysian stories are not the best when it comes to sex. Yeah, true right? HA HA.

Here, come on. Hear this out.

Women Says She becomes Pregnant After Watching Porn in 3D

A white American woman who had a black baby claims she fell pregnant whilst watching a porn movie in 3D. According to reports, the child's father , who is white was serving in the military in Iraq when she became pregnant.

His wife Jennifer told him the child was conceived whilst watching a porn movie in 3D.
“I see it as suspicious. The films in 3-D are very real. With today’s technology, anything is possible “he said.

Jennifer claimed she went to watch a porn film with her friends in New York and doesn’t usually watch porn movies and that she went to watch it to experience the effects in 3D. Jennifer says the child looks like the black actor in the movie. “A month after watching the movie, I started feeling dizzy and the results were positive.” she said.

Jennifer admits her marriage could be in trouble. “Even though my husband believed in me, my marriage could be at risk. But he knows I’m faithful” she said.


Seriously, man. Porn in 3D? Black kid? Pregnant? Wtfisthisshit.jpg?

This shit reaaaalllllyy deserves a LOLOLOLWTF.

And the worse shit is, how dumb was that husband of hers to even believe that type of crap? I mean, come on. That's obviously a lie, dude!

I know, love is sweet, but.... sigh, you know what I mean, you dumbass.

There's tonnes of reason you could tell to lie. And there even a user in /k/ suggesting three of them.

How to lie to husband about being pregnant with other men while he was serving in Iraq.

A. Honey, I was lonely. I waited & waited but you weren't there for me!

B. You have no idea what I've been through! I was raped! You weren't there to protect me!

C. Honey, you have to believe me! I went to watch a show with my friend. Its in 3D. Everything is so vivd. So real!

Yet, you chose C. How stupid of you.

Aku xtau la natang ni btol ke tak, tp still, peduli. Yang aku tau ade entry baru dlm blog aku :">


"Jennifer claimed she went to watch a porn film with her friends in New York"

The clue/hint already stated there -----> "with her friends" :">

If this shit were really true, I mean for instance, there actually IS a porn movie in 3D which could possibly make you pregnant after watching it WAKAKA FAK A WEH.

But seriously, they should put a precaution before the movie starts.

"ALERT, for female viewers,make sure to eat the pill that come along with the product 1 hour before watch it"

But the kid was black, man! And she's white! Her husband's white!

Yeah, I know chicks dig big dicks, coz you know, black dudes have huge dicks right, but uh..

Enough talking. Both of em are morons.

If the world could go even this far, I wonder how easy you could tell lies to anyone, even the ones you love.

And hmmm, let's imagine if it happens in Malaysia.

Suri Rumah Tangga mengandung selepas tonton video .3gp di telefon bimbit.

and pops out a little Chindian baby.

Right, right??

P/s : If you don't wanna do the time, don't do the crime.


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zedRadzai said...

yes, I know, but you don't need to uh.. sigh. thx btw :)