Sampah #7 - SHITLIST!

Do you remember the time when we were spending lots of our free time in front of the computer not using the Facebook as our social website to contact with others?

Yeah, I do. What I meant is, using other websites. Such as Friendster. Yeah you know, Friendster.

And I used to put some quite of a hate list in my life in the 'About Me' section in my Friendster profile, which I didn't get the chance to save all of it, sebab aku lupe nk save copy paste natang tu sblm delete Friendster acc aku. Shit.

Tp xpe, thanks to Pam, ya ini blog beliau. Promote sket.

Thanks to him, I've managed to collect back half of that shitlist wpon xsume kan, tp ok la tu kan.

Come to think of it, turns out I've been 'blogging' about shit since those times. :">



MY SHITLIST





1] bila bersandar kat sofa, sofa terheret ke belakang.

2] bila ada makanan tersekat celah gigi, tak mampu nak keluarkan.

3] orang yg tak reti nak flush lepas guna jamban.

4] bila tengok wayang, mengantuk tak boleh nak tahan.

5] bila sakit perut nak berak time kuliah.

6] bila tertidur time khutbah jumaat, mimpi jatuh basikal, longkang atau yg seangkatan dgnnya, then terkejut dan badan tersentak, lalu disedari oleh pakcik pakai lebai kat sebelah.

7] budak suka pakai tshirt/kemeje POLO pirate, berkolar tegak.

8] dengar orang membebel benda yg dah lama tau.

9] dengar bunyi yg tak sedap diulang banyak kali.

10] bila pakai shampoo, buih masuk mata lalu pedih.

11] kaki lepak di shopping complex.bukan beli brg pon.

12] bila men game, tak dapat tewaskan bos, lalu disindir oleh orang tertentu.

13] bila pakai earphone, ada orang sibuk nak panggil.

14] orang yg dia jela yg betul.

15] bila letak kepala kat bantal, bantal tenggelam.

16] bila makan chewing-gum,kemudian tergigit lidah.

17] bila naik kereta, cahaya matahari menghadap aku.

18] bila malas nak study, orang sekeliling semua study.

19] bila study kat meja, pemadam jatuh atas lantai dan terlantun sampai dia pergi lagi jauh.

20] bila naik taxi dengan kawan, kena duduk depan.

21] terhidu nafas org baru bangun tidur@tak gosok gigi.

22] bila ada orang kentut dalam kereta yg tingkapnya tertutup rapi.

23] bila sedar nyamuk sedang hisap darah kat lengan, tapi gagal nak memukulnye.

24] bila ada lalat rilek je merayap kat muka.

25] bila tengok muvi kat depan pc, pastu ada orang masuk bilik tiba-tiba, then tanya "cite ape..?"

26] bila tengok tv dengan parents, tiba-tiba ada babak 18sx.

27] bila tengah menggeliat, orang usik ketiak.

28] bila dah nak hampir rasa nak bersin, tiba-tiba tak jadi lak.

29] orang yg over sangat rendah dirinya.

30] bila tengah lapar nak order makanan, orang beratur panjang.

31] bila tengah jalan-jalan kat shopping complex, jumpe sekumpulan budak bawah umur berlagak otai.."weh bai,jom sebat..aku sangap tak leh blah dow.."

32] orang yg suka pandang rendah kat aku.

33] bile nak koyak kertas testpad pelan2 kasi kemas, tp sangkut terkoyak jgk jd xkemas.

34] bile sarkastik dipandang serious.

35] you, all of you. go die.


Yeah, and every one of them could make me go raging over and over again.






So, about your's, got anything in common with me? :">


P/s : Don't put that card on me, you dumbasses.

Shit Cover #12 - Keabadian Cinta [Anuar Zain]

Jiwang sikit. Sorry ah.





UPDATED!


And hey, my buddy, Amalia pon buat jgk cover ini! Dah lama nk buat katanya. Tp malas. And after seeing my cover, beliau kembali bersemangat.

Haha nicely done ain't it. Good Job Amalia.






So we have boy version cover and girl version one. Enjoy!


P/s : Fukui.

What I Hate About Facebook #7 - Which I Love



Hate Group : Kami Benci Saiful Izan Yang Menghina Uitm.

Click that link sementara ia masih available. Fuck aku bru nk post link time tulis entry ni depa dh delete dh. Haish.

Yes, last night was one helluva damn experience to be making fun of emofags over there. I really don't know how to imagine it to you guys, since last Huge Trolling I made were kinda offensive for some of you.

But believe me, if you don't agree with my methods, why don't you just go and fuck off?

Er, no, no you could stay, I'd love to argue sometimes for once in a while. Teehee

Okay, back to Saiful Izan's business. Who is this jackass?

He's no one. Just a fella student from UKM (UKM is it? Or UM. Not sure.) who were not-so-stupid-but-still-a-bit-brainless person to go bad-mouthing UITM saying that





Just that. As simple as that.

And he didn't even intended to troll all of those Melei emofags. GAHHHHH!!!

(Melei name copycat from Obe's)


But from that, one hate group were created and within a few hours last night, they managed to spread to all of those UiTm fellow students until it came to 2000++ fans.

Look how bangang they were. To go raging like




because of some shit statement. Emofags. Geez.

Tapi aku pon sama bangang jgk, sbb aku pon join. Teehee.

Yeah, I joined that group because I wanted to cause some havoc in it with some of buddies. Yeah, thx to Nazeep, and Pam. And Shakaff, Raji, and Pedo for joining a little late :|

Xpe la, ok la tu. Because we act like an 'army', and because of our own teamwork, everything was so much fun. Suka2 hati je nak maki orang xkenal. Peduli apa kan.



And deep down inside, I feel bad for them. Yeah, you know, why in the world would you have to go create a group like that? Just because of some sarcastic statement from nobody.




Because of that feeling, I decided to bantai2 la dorg. Boh wallpost maki2 sket. Kasi malu sket. Same goes to Nazeep. And our wallpost kinda gets attention too, for what it's worth. :">

Ade la jgk butthurt2. Tu yang syok.

I laughed so hard everytime I see one emo killing wallpost and Nazeep and I were kinda berebut2 nak masuk troll sape lagi power with our coolfaces. It was so hilarious.






Lagi best bile ade tiga empat orang stranger kat ctu yang perasan akan kehadiran ktorg and trasa jgk sama2 lawak and joined us with this weird kinda entertainment.

Aku malas la nk printscreen satu2 benda. Byk plak keje. But one thing that really made me laughed was this one fella, from that group who took advantage into making friends in all that hate-emo-rage fiesta group.

And he added me. I approved. And I gave him a wallpost.





And I really deleted him from my friend list.

Haha, ksian dia. Tapi aku xde la jahat sgt wey. Aku add die balik, and die pon approve and we talked like friends for a while. It all became some sort of a cool boy-to-boy friendship who met each other in a hate group. WTF


And that's not all.

When Shakaff, Raji, Pedo came to join the hategroup, suasana dalam tu pon dh xsepanas mana. Because that brat just already posted a big fat apology to all of them saying that he never intended to be making fun like that. He's just kidding with some of his friends and blablabla shits.

Well, I don't care about his reasons. I'm just happy to be seeing butthurts all around from non-anons and strangers in facebook. It became like some enjoicement (is there a word?) for me.

Jadi, dh sejuk, xbest la. So Shakaff Raji Pedo started their mission on hunting chicks.

And hey, if you may read all of those conversation they had, trust me, you would be laughing your ass off. Dengan Raji siap wat persiapan tukar profile pic die paling hensem lagi. HAHA




Lagi2 Shakaff dengan Tits or GTFO die. Adoi2. =)))))))))




Fortunately, they did manage add three or four girls in their friend list. LOLOL

Sigh, so much fun.

Till next musim of another hate group!

Chow!



P/s : Cmne la skrg ni.

Life #16 - Another Entry About Ciggies



While I was busy looking up into stuffs and all in the internet yesterday, I realized one thing about me. Aren't there other things that are a whole lot better to do than just sitting here in front of my laptop?

It's just...

I'm stuck here, like doing nothing. Coz you know, my life is completely





Then I realized, the fuck I'm doing? I'm supposed to be studying for God's sake :((

Apa nak jadi ni, haihhhh sedih2, pastu bosan2 pg cari gado dgn satu Komuniti Pembaca trus kan psl babi kan. Xleh la cmtu bro.

Ok2, understood.

So, I gain back my strength, and try to do my homework and study for a little bit. Because the exams is just around the corner. Try jela yang terbaik Zed. Even though you know it that you can't do anything with the past mistakes that you've done.

And I get back to my real business and all, then I realized another thing.

I need cigarettes.


For all of you guys can see, I'm a smoker. Yeah, screw me. I'm not gonna comment on that. We're all adults now, and we all know what side effect it gives.

And deep down inside, I feel bad. On everything. You see, I'm actually a soft-hearted guy, you know.

"Fuck you, I don't give a fuck about you"

Yela2, sorry. :'(

Back to writing.

And being a smoker, plus being alone in my room in here all day, I tend to get bored and lonely easily, and because of that, sometimes, these cigarettes are just my bestfriends. Awww :">

Which makes me think about my past time a lot. How the fukken hell did I became this smoker guy like now?

It all started when I was in my primary school, back in Perak, Sekolah Kebangsaan Jalan Pegoh dan Sekolah Rakyat Agama Al-Husna. And I was in Standard Five at that time.

I had this one fellow of mine, Fahmi, one day, he asked me to go to the toilet with him. And I was so fukken scared. Because I didn't wanted to be gay. :(

Nahh, lame joke lame joke.

I was kinda scared because he asked me using this tone. This weird tone. Full of suspense element.

Pahmi : Eh zaid jom ikot aku pegi tandas. Aku ada bnda baekk nk tunjuk.
Me : Ape yang ang nk tunjuk? *suspen2*


And when we were in the toilet, die bawak kua sekotak rokok Dunhill with lighter and lighted up a cigarette in front of me, showing off how cool he looks when smoking. HAHA fuck you Fahmi.

But too bad, I fell for it. I wanted to look cool, too! I was 11, okay?

And he gave me one ciggy to light. And at that moment, I was so cuak with it, because hey, I'm a kid, and all I know was being innocent, right?

So there I go, lighting up the ciggy and pretend to look awesome and all with that fukken pahit nak mampos rasa taik asap dia masuk mulut.

While most of you guys should know, true smoker sedut asap rokok tu btol2 masuk paru2 dorg kasi cepat sket mampos kan? Tau kan? Which we call,

"Sepppp lama2 sket bro asap tu, baru feeling."

Ya, you know that right?

While at that moment, I didn't even breathe that smoke. I just merely let it be in my mouth for a lil' while, and burst it all out. Itu pon aku batuk jugak weii! Lawak bile pk balik, those nostalgic times when I sacrificed my own 'virginity' to smoking and time tu wpon aku smoke, aku xsepp, tp still aku batuk wtf.

Haha and after that, sumpah aku fuck rokok. Bau cam taik, asap sakit mata, kemak btol la rokok.

Sampai la zmn2 Form 3 :">

Lepak2 dgn mmber time fly malam time bdak2 sume cuti balik bermalam n kami stay kat asrama malas balik, malam2 kua g cc mcm bdak rosak sial.

Sorg beli kotak rokok, kongsi ramai2, isap ramai2, cuak gile sekor2 isap. Yela, bdak kecik kan. Malam2 plak tu. Dengan Munk, Pemi, sume.

Ha time tu baru aku pecahkan dara aku pd konsep Sepppppp tu, iaitu bia asap rokok masuk paru2. Haih bunyi mcm dh nk mampos kan. Takut dgr. :(

Dok isap2, pening sial. Smpi ke kepala otak die tibai. Ugh.

Aku jalan pon dh macam org mabuk. Budak Form 3 mcm ni wtf.

Time tu aku dh la pengawas, badar, kapten nasyid, blablabla. And look how screwed I am now?

Tapi still.

Those old times. I miss it. Who doesn't, right?

But, after that, I didn't immediately turn to be a heavy smoker like I am right now. I was a good student, I never break any school laws, and I passed SPM with cool results. Bole la.

Then masuk la UM. Ambang Asuhan Jepun. Kat ctu la bru knal dunia sebenar para2 setan bdak2 skrg. /sarcasm

I met WangSang, Shakaff, Acap Tabako, Raji, Jera, Pailang, Cuki and all other heavy smokers just like that. And actually, everyone of em was not that satanic as hell, because they never did seduce me with how awesome smoking could be.

Ade sorang je Dajal sbnrnya yang buat aku smoke smpi skrg ni. Shahid.

Here's what happen between me and him.

THE PROCESS ON TURNING ZAIDRADZAI INTO A SMOKER

Day 1


Shahid : Eh, ha jmp ko kat bilik aku kan. Tu ade rokok tu, ko nk amek, amek la, aku mmg suke sedekah. Kawan2.
Me : Eh. Hmmm. *reconsidering over and over again*


Last2 kalah, aku amek sebatang.



Day 2


Shahid : Ha, amacam best kan? Klu nk lagi amek la, ade kotak rokok tu aku letak atas meja je.
Me : Orait, nice a ko shahid.


Day 3


Me : Rokok sebatang, bro.
Shahid : Alright2, xde hal. Amek2.


Day 4


Me : Shahid, cm sdap je rokok tu.
Shahid : Eh pegi mati la kemak ko, pg beli sdiri la babi lancau anjing. Igt aku baik sgt la slama ni?






.............speechless.............


WOWWWWW

Haha I know he was kidding, he was fun like my normal buddies but at that moment, I suddenly woke up. Because that method is so fukken awesome until it actually works on me well. Because, that night, I went out to 7-Eleven and bought my first kotak rokok. Haih2.

Damnit, you.

And here I am, being a heavy smoker, alone here in my room, craving for some ciggies because I have no money to spend. :(

Nahhh, I'm not mad. Because, I know, I'm gonna stop smoking. For sure.

Back to work. Moga2 dpt la.


P/s : Slowing down a bit.

Sexist #8 - Why Wimmen Can.... But Men Cannot..

Am so sorry to all of the girls. It's just....

Sigh.

Sorry tau tau.





P/s : Ahhhhhhhh kasihan2.


Picture credits to Shakaff.

Credit Asal.

Sampah #6 - Eh Babinye Ko Ni..



Join the hate group.

"We Hate zaidRadzai's blog"



Ini cubaan mendapatkan publisiti murahan utk cari pembunuh2 keyboard warrior ni.

Mahu join? Klik sini.



Eh babinye ko ni, wat entry psl makan babi plak. Babinye babinye. Jangan camtu, xbaik la. Main2 hukum ape sume. Fitnah lagi. Wat malu org Islam. Jangan2. Aku harap ko pdm la balik sume ni.





Okay2, since my previous entry turns out to be another great punchline of this shit blog since Seli Waha Part 1 and Part 2 era, I'm gonna thank you guys for 'supporting' me, because you know, I intended to do so.

Because like I've always said. We know Babi are Haram for Muslims. And so do I. I'm not that stupid, you motherfuckers.

And we, tend to get sensitive about every issue that are related to these forbidden matters. So dari ctu, memang byk la kemarahan yang timbul dari para pembaca. And even my fellow friends and family are among them, too. Yes, I know, you jackasses.

This time, entry ini bukan sahaja menimbulkan kemarahan para stranger, tetapi juga para sahabat dan family. Yela, sapa xmrh kan, ade ke patut g makan Babi.

Eh, truk jugak la kan bile pikir balik. Jangan cmtu bro. Bab2 Babi ni,.... hmmm....

I know it's wrong. No, eating pork is obviously wrong for us Muslims, but I know FAKING it was wrong, too.

Yela, seolah2 memfitnah kan? But don't it look dumb enough to be fitnah-ing my ownself?

Haha, btol jgk kan? Sebab itu ade org percaya.

Well, it do look dumb, though. Fitnah diri sdiri makan babi, bodoh sangat tu.

Unless there's another reason.

Maybe, I did it for t3h LULz? Teehee.

No, making fun of religions' hukum was not the part of my plan.

But.

Seeing others get awfully offended was, indeed. To me, I think of it, as a SOCIAL EXPERIMENT.

And am very sorry for those who take this matter seriously, I never intended to make fun of my own religion. :|

I just wanted to see you guys go

fukken kill me RRRRAAAGGGGGGEEEEEEE FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU pantat nate berok mu make babi puki tiang jada ape lanjiaooo ko wat langsi bro tapak kasut, ko balik msia ko matiiiiiiiiiii! MATIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!111one!one!1!! Doremi~!

Itu je. Maybe I'm sick. Maybe I suffer from some strange disease which made me feel happy by giving pain to others. Maybe.

Nahhh.

It's just I'm bored. To be honest, I'm bored. <---- Such a messed up excuse. But, don't you guys ever wonder how awesome it is that one word gives great effects if it were to be changed to another? Just like I did. If you've noticed one thing about that entry, I've said that

"FYI, maguro is pork."




Now, from that point of view, we see it as a



PUKIMAK BUDAK NI MAKAN BABI RELAX DIE JE TULIS ENTRY BABI LANJIAO YAHUDI MABUK




Hmm..

Please.

To the elites out there, I salute you for not trusting me. Because Maguro is not actually pork meat, dumbasses. It's tuna. Ikan tuna tu.

And because I've changed every maguro word in that entry to be related to babi/pork, it just felt wrong. And disgusting. And fucked up. Why would you go eat pork? Obviously, it's HARRRAAAAMMMM.

Why would it felt bad? Have you ever wonder that matter? Well, I do. Look how cool a word could get.

If I just rewind the time and change back every pork/babi word into ikan/tuna/maguro, there would be no fukken butthurts, right? It's just too potentiality <--- are there even a word? Too potentiality, to be making fun out of it. Still guys, I'm not making fun of my religioun. Sorry. And trust me. I would've never eat pork. I may seem like a bad muslim guy, but I do have my beliefs. :) ada la jugak truk2 tu zed.

Tapi, stiap org ade kelemahan die, bukan? But one thing for sure. That was obvious troll was it?



And some of you newfags fell for it. Sucks to be you.

Now don't get used to the phrase

"It's from the internet so it must be true"


No. You're doing it wrong. Have you ever heard the word sarcasm? People tend to get butthurt when they can't comprehend with these sort of odds.

And I know, this time, I've reached the limit. And that's why I wanted to write a sincere apology as an entry. I'm sorry. And I was wrong.



P/s : And I has a sad. Because you guys seem to be focusing on my pork-eating experience instead of reading my diary. Fuck you!



But still




YYYEEEEEAAAAHHHH!!!!11!!!!1!!!!!

Random Shit Story #9 - Last Weekend and Eating Pork

Last weekend was quite another cool experience I had with my buddies.

So two days before last Saturday, I was craving so much for Thai Food, I rogered Shakaff and Beng to ask them if they are planning to go for some Thai foods in the Thai restaurant in Nagoya.

But, still no confirmation. And instead, Saturday morning, I received a phone call from Beng.

Beng : Hello.
Me : Yo hello!
Beng : Asal segar semacam dgr pagi2 ni? Aku nk ajak ni..
Me : Ha, ajak g Thai food ke? WAWAWAWAWA <---- look at this freak. Beng : Haha tak2, ajak g Nagashima. Shopping.
Me : WTF.
Beng : Pastu kite g mkn maguro....
Me : On. Otw 30minutes.


Yes, from a plan to go for dishes in the Thai Restaurant, I agreed to go follow them to go shopping in Nagashima Spaland Themepark.


Inilah Nagashikemak Spantat


Ya, you know Nagashima Spaland Themepark. It's a themepark. WOWOWOW. But, too bad, we were gonna go for shopping only. Teehee. Xde duit la babi.

And so off we went there, and after finished our shopping, we ate some ice cream. Sumpah sedap sial ice cream. Babi la babi la. Panas2 lak tu. Aku nk makan lagi argh.


Aaaaaaaaa Fuck aku lapa icecream ni lagiiiii


Aya dan Shakaff


Beng dan Zarina


Me. :">




So, lepas tu. Bergerak la ktorg ke kedai maguro. Buat pengetahuan korg, maguro ni pork. Mmber Vietnam ktorg la, Aya, cadangkan pegi kdai tu, sbb die dekat dgn Nagashima kan, so ktorg pon angkut la die skali, bole bg guide utk pilih mana2 menu yg best dgn pork.

And for your information, this is our 1st time to eat pork. At first, all of us were kinda scared, tp bile tgk Tenbi yang alim2 tu pon okay je nk join, ktorg sume join skali la sng.

Look, we've arrived here di depan kdai maguro. Kat kdai ni, menu die mmg speciality psl pork. Sume menu dr babi and menu2 die sedap2 belaka. Adoh, fuck la aku nk makan lagi.

And you know, since this is our first experience on eating pork, look how enthusiastic we were. Taking pics pki iPhone 3g yang lembab nk mati banding dgn iPhone 4 yang bakal kua nnti. I want one, but fuck me, blaja la pandai.


Asanoya.



Eh nak aje ko masuk ye Zarina



Seriously guys, the aroma as we went in this shop was kinda good. I've never expected that pork dishes' smell are this delicious. So as we let breathe in the aroma, and let our stomach rings, we slowly sat down at the table, and let Aya guide us with the menus.

Hmmmm. Pork.

It really looks delicious. Ni blom makan lagi.

Ha, and then we ordered our dishes.

Macam2 la order. Aya ni pon sempoi je kan, die tau la kan serba serbi psl menu pork kat cni, so bersungguh2 la die cadangkan menu2 yang bg die sedap gile babi. Dah la sporting Aya ni, shopping td kat Nagashima lek je die kasi pinjam aku duit pki credit card. Thx babe. Nnti aku bayar.

And we waited.

Tggu2, borak2, gelak2, then sampai la menu buka selera. We ordered fried pork with mustard sauce and salad.

Look!


Ini la Tenbi alim2 tu.



Aya dan Shakaff. Dua bangsa tapi kamceng.



Aku nk jgk posing makan babi.



Sedap sial.


Just by eating those fried pork, makes our assumption for pork meat. It ain't that bad! Seriously, it felt like, ok try imagining this.

Daging ayam and daging lembu kan ade thp busuk die kan? So ayam paling kurang busuk n lembu la paling busuk kadang2 kan? So babi terletak kat tengah2 tu.

And it is delicious. Arghhhh.

But, that's not the end of it. Menu2 sume blom sampai lgi. First time mkn babi la katakan. Mkn skali harung terus la kan byk2.

Sampai dah! Sampai terlupe nk tgkp pic dlu trus bantai mkn. Dh mkn separuh bru teringat. Hampeh.

Nah2, menu2 babi. Sedap!


Pork Grilled Hamburger with Mayonese. Served with fried potatoes and sweet corns.



Yang kiri tu Rice with Pork Kimchi. Yang kanan tu pembuka selera td tu xabes. Adoh sdap btoi. Ni menu aku ni. Xnyesal la pilih.


Pork Cheese Hamburger Grilled with Mayonese. Served with fried potatoes and sweet corn.



Nampak sedap gile babi kan menu babi ni? Ugh...


Tenbi dgn aksi mkn babinye.



Now this is our sweet Aya from Vietnam. Thanks to you buddy! Bersama menu kegemarannye Nasi lauk babi bakar goreng masak kicap.


So, we ate and we ate. Xhenti2. Abes je order, abes je order. Sampai aku rs kenyang gile babi weh mkn babi. Sdap sgt. Fuck ah maguro.

Aku ksian kat Shakaff je.


Muke high kenyang mkn babi maguro.



Haha, ksian2. Smpi nk muntah2 kan.

Ape2pon, ini pengalaman first mkn babi kan. So, I really appreciate it, since the moment was spent with good buddies.


Zed, Beng, Shakaff, Aya, Tenbi dan Zarina the Photographer.



Love you all.


P/s : STFU.

What I Hate About Facebook #6 - I Love Camwhores


Ini.. Ini......




Nahh.

It's been long enough for me to keep going on like raging towards all those camwhore-lovers out there who were brave enough to publish their best camwhore pics in their facebook account to attract attention from their friends and such.

Yes, apart from enjoying the new feature on facebook, from now on, you can also 'like' every comment wrote over there too! :">

Back to topic.

But, why the need to bash them? In time, I find they're kinda entertaining, though. The camwhores, I mean.

You see, everything has its pros and cons.

So, let me point out the pros for these camwhores.

Nahh, I'm not going to.

For all of you newfags, who possibly don't know the term camwhore means, well, let me explain it to you.

Camwhore is GENERALLY, (yes, generally, don't get offended now please) one variety of attention-whore person, typically a young and very stupid woman (though occasionally a twink or fags) who will do anything on a webcam in exchange for attention, money, items from online wishlists, or just to be generally slutty.

Now, if I were to be one of you camwhore lovers, I'd definitely felt offended by the meaning itself. But to be precise, those are in general, by all means, international. Wtf.

And when it comes to us Malays, it become another branch of another type of camwhore. Because, we Asians, you know, well-known for our shy personalities and all, would be such a humiliation if we act and post a pic of ourselves camwhoring to be slutty, wouldn't it?

Lebih kurang, kita orang Melayu ni, suka camwhore tapi tahu la malu sikit, xgitu? Xde la dok tayang2 badan scara umum utk tarik perhatian orang. Tak2. Kita tayang muka ja.

So, let's look into the bright side.

And for me, camwhoring isn't just about taking pictures of yourself. It's about how you intended to attract people with how you pose.

And there's many other types of camwhore.

1. The most popular one is cleavage.

Which is supposedly suitable with the name itself --> whore. Because these type of a camwhore would struggle at their best to finally find a shot from the camera to show how sexy their boobs are.

For instance



And




And guys like me, used to enjoice these type of camwhore, because it's just the way God created us.




Ugh. For the love of God.

2. Kissy face or duckface

These are another kind of camwhore who are really obsessed with showing to the world how sexy their lips are. Yes, I know it, your lips are hot, but you girls are just too naive to be thinking about what would be on our guys' pervy mind when you made your lips looking like these


And



Yes, I know, tidak lain dan tidak bukan.

You're offering a blowjob. Now that's not appropriate to do. You know how stupid we guys could get when you show off your pink lips like those. We imagine MOOAAAARRRRRR from you, you bitches. Give us everything you got! Huarghhhhh!

Which cause us to go fukken BRB and *Fap*

Ughhh. :">

Kthxbye.

3. Throwing up a peace sign.



Now, this type of a camwhore are everywhere. It's like these people are just really into peaceful material or something that they would show their two fingers everytime a camera would take a shot on them.



Seriously, it's like you're stuck with those images, and we can't do nothing to help get you back to normal when taking pictures.


Peace, my ass. Tp kadang2 xcukup dgn peace, ade je cara lain nk buat dgn ape2 je, xpeeee, asalkan ade gaya tgn tuuuu. Wat bentuk heart ke, bentuk suh senyap shhhhhhhh keee.




Xpe2, janji comel :">

4. The feigned surprise.

Pura-pura terkejut. Wahh, konon2 nampak lebih natural beauty la kan, tunjuk mcm candid pny style. Padahal pura2. Xpe2 la, klu dh cun tu, kita leh kata ape kan?


Just kalau... Hmmm...



Terlebih2 tu yang pelik kan?


5. The classic what-everrrrrrr

Ya you know this style. The biyooottttccchhhh style when you have to do these type of faces.


Ni pon bole jgk la kan, asalkan mata tu kna buat gaya cmtu. Pandang serong ke atas sket. Style!

Xpon, dgn gaya mata cmtu, letak tgn kat dpn mulut. Awwww, smoking hot, bitch!

Ini pon bole.

Seriously, to me, this face reminds me of a bitch I knew back in highschool.


6. Mouth slightly open

And this is quite another style that are yet still popular within us Malays. You have to quite a bit open up your mouth, not all of it, just a bit, like imagine it that you're trying your best to seduce whoever you wanna seduce.



And you should also add some variety in it, you know, depends on your style, to show off your tongue or something.




Or to bite your own finger to show how 'manja' and 'naughty' you look, like



Because, clearly, that type of face, brings a 'Please Fuck Me' impression to us guys. Which we are gladly enough to help you with.


7. Eyes focused on something very interesting happening on the other side that isn't on the picture.


Yeah, true shit, isn't it? Everyone does this style, and it kinda gets lame though, but who cares right? Janji stylo.



Nahh, there's nothing quite wrong with this style, and it still is cool btw. :">



8. Head tilted a bit to left-down side of your face and eyes up to the camera being held high by your own hand.



This type of style are usually for the newfags. Yeah, you know who I mean. It's you yourself. Remember yourself when you 1st got your own camera built-in handphone and you were excited enough to be taking pictures of yourself with it and send it to your lovers or even worse, make it as your own handphone wallpaper. WTF?



It's just because, camwhoring is an art. And every art has to be learn. And to get the upmost greatest effect of your actual fugly and fat face to look a whole lot nicer, you just have to learn to achieve the perfect angle for your face. Remember, tilt your head down a bit and you HAVE to hold your camera high in the air and try your best to look at it with your eyes.

And if you're confident enough with your own beauty, you don't have to hold the camera high. Like this, see?



Still beautiful what. Cuma memang perlu lagi kna sengetkan muke tu sket2. Xleh view dr depan btol2, mcm dlm pic passport. Bukan?

It brings good effects, okay. Trust me, camwhores.

9. Mirror effect

I know, camwhoring in front of a mirror may give you full control of yourself to pose just the way you wanted the outcome should be.



It's just cool to be taking the pictures of yourself in front of your OWN mirror, but in the public toilets?



Seriously.

You feel me?


Enough for today. I hate facebook, but I couldn't live a day without it.



P/s : I dreamed about you last night and it was romantic. Yet I woke up, I was wet.

Picture Credits to A friend who was cool enough to be saving all those camwhoring pics and save it into 'Siapa Kata Gadis Melayu Tak Menawan' Folder.