While I was busy looking up into stuffs and all in the internet yesterday, I realized one thing about me. Aren't there other things that are a whole lot better to do than just sitting here in front of my laptop?
I'm stuck here, like doing nothing. Coz you know, my life is completely
Then I realized, the fuck I'm doing? I'm supposed to be studying for God's sake :((
Apa nak jadi ni, haihhhh sedih2, pastu bosan2 pg cari gado dgn satu Komuniti Pembaca trus kan psl babi kan. Xleh la cmtu bro.
So, I gain back my strength, and try to do my homework and study for a little bit. Because the exams is just around the corner. Try jela yang terbaik Zed. Even though you know it that you can't do anything with the past mistakes that you've done.
And I get back to my real business and all, then I realized another thing.
I need cigarettes.
For all of you guys can see, I'm a smoker. Yeah, screw me. I'm not gonna comment on that. We're all adults now, and we all know what side effect it gives.
And deep down inside, I feel bad. On everything. You see, I'm actually a soft-hearted guy, you know.
"Fuck you, I don't give a fuck about you"
Yela2, sorry. :'(
Back to writing.
And being a smoker, plus being alone in my room in here all day, I tend to get bored and lonely easily, and because of that, sometimes, these cigarettes are just my bestfriends. Awww :">
Which makes me think about my past time a lot. How the fukken hell did I became this smoker guy like now?
It all started when I was in my primary school, back in Perak, Sekolah Kebangsaan Jalan Pegoh dan Sekolah Rakyat Agama Al-Husna. And I was in Standard Five at that time.
I had this one fellow of mine, Fahmi, one day, he asked me to go to the toilet with him. And I was so fukken scared. Because I didn't wanted to be gay. :(
Nahh, lame joke lame joke.
I was kinda scared because he asked me using this tone. This weird tone. Full of suspense element.
Pahmi : Eh zaid jom ikot aku pegi tandas. Aku ada bnda baekk nk tunjuk.
Me : Ape yang ang nk tunjuk? *suspen2*
And when we were in the toilet, die bawak kua sekotak rokok Dunhill with lighter and lighted up a cigarette in front of me, showing off how cool he looks when smoking. HAHA fuck you Fahmi.
But too bad, I fell for it. I wanted to look cool, too! I was 11, okay?
And he gave me one ciggy to light. And at that moment, I was so cuak with it, because hey, I'm a kid, and all I know was being innocent, right?
So there I go, lighting up the ciggy and pretend to look awesome and all with that fukken pahit nak mampos rasa taik asap dia masuk mulut.
While most of you guys should know, true smoker sedut asap rokok tu btol2 masuk paru2 dorg kasi cepat sket mampos kan? Tau kan? Which we call,
"Sepppp lama2 sket bro asap tu, baru feeling."
Ya, you know that right?
While at that moment, I didn't even breathe that smoke. I just merely let it be in my mouth for a lil' while, and burst it all out. Itu pon aku batuk jugak weii! Lawak bile pk balik, those nostalgic times when I sacrificed my own 'virginity' to smoking and time tu wpon aku smoke, aku xsepp, tp still aku batuk wtf.
Haha and after that, sumpah aku fuck rokok. Bau cam taik, asap sakit mata, kemak btol la rokok.
Sampai la zmn2 Form 3 :">
Lepak2 dgn mmber time fly malam time bdak2 sume cuti balik bermalam n kami stay kat asrama malas balik, malam2 kua g cc mcm bdak rosak sial.
Sorg beli kotak rokok, kongsi ramai2, isap ramai2, cuak gile sekor2 isap. Yela, bdak kecik kan. Malam2 plak tu. Dengan Munk, Pemi, sume.
Ha time tu baru aku pecahkan dara aku pd konsep Sepppppp tu, iaitu bia asap rokok masuk paru2. Haih bunyi mcm dh nk mampos kan. Takut dgr. :(
Dok isap2, pening sial. Smpi ke kepala otak die tibai. Ugh.
Aku jalan pon dh macam org mabuk. Budak Form 3 mcm ni wtf.
Time tu aku dh la pengawas, badar, kapten nasyid, blablabla. And look how screwed I am now?
Those old times. I miss it. Who doesn't, right?
But, after that, I didn't immediately turn to be a heavy smoker like I am right now. I was a good student, I never break any school laws, and I passed SPM with cool results. Bole la.
Then masuk la UM. Ambang Asuhan Jepun. Kat ctu la bru knal dunia sebenar para2 setan bdak2 skrg. /sarcasm
I met WangSang, Shakaff, Acap Tabako, Raji, Jera, Pailang, Cuki and all other heavy smokers just like that. And actually, everyone of em was not that satanic as hell, because they never did seduce me with how awesome smoking could be.
Ade sorang je Dajal sbnrnya yang buat aku smoke smpi skrg ni. Shahid.
Here's what happen between me and him.
THE PROCESS ON TURNING ZAIDRADZAI INTO A SMOKER
Shahid : Eh, ha jmp ko kat bilik aku kan. Tu ade rokok tu, ko nk amek, amek la, aku mmg suke sedekah. Kawan2.
Me : Eh. Hmmm. *reconsidering over and over again*
Last2 kalah, aku amek sebatang.
Shahid : Ha, amacam best kan? Klu nk lagi amek la, ade kotak rokok tu aku letak atas meja je.
Me : Orait, nice a ko shahid.
Me : Rokok sebatang, bro.
Shahid : Alright2, xde hal. Amek2.
Me : Shahid, cm sdap je rokok tu.
Shahid : Eh pegi mati la kemak ko, pg beli sdiri la babi lancau anjing. Igt aku baik sgt la slama ni?
Haha I know he was kidding, he was fun like my normal buddies but at that moment, I suddenly woke up. Because that method is so fukken awesome until it actually works on me well. Because, that night, I went out to 7-Eleven and bought my first kotak rokok. Haih2.
And here I am, being a heavy smoker, alone here in my room, craving for some ciggies because I have no money to spend. :(
Nahhh, I'm not mad. Because, I know, I'm gonna stop smoking. For sure.
Back to work. Moga2 dpt la.
P/s : Slowing down a bit.