WARNING : NOT WORTH IT. PLEASE STOP READING WHILE YOU CAN. THIS IS A CRAP ENTRY.
I went to the toilet just now to take a shit. And while taking that massive shit, instead of making natural faces like
I suddenly remembered one interesting thing about poop types and its definitions that I once read the other day.
And because of that, I spent all my time in the toilet thinking about random thoughts about poops.
Yeah, you know, I never did attend biology classes back in school. I take engineering courses instead. :">
Like for instance, what actually is poop made of? According to teh internet, about 3/4 of your average shit is made out of water. Just like the earth, 3/4 is made out of water, and another quarter is uh.. well, soil. Chocolate soil. Chocolate smelly shit. Get it?
And the remaining portion of the shit, about 1/3 is composed of dead bacteria. Another 1/3 is made out of stuff that we find indigestible, like cellulose, for instance. And another example, like those coins you accidentally swallowed when you were a child back then. And your parents were fukken worried about your stomach as that coin is actually heavy and made out of metal, but luckily when the shit day comes, it would just come out from your rectum and fall into your toilet and "PLUP!" Yela, sebab tahi ko ada syiling kan. Berat pulak tu.
Obviously, I'm not talking about my own experience, am I? Fuck. :">
Back to business, and the last 1/3 is, mixture of fats, like cholesterol. That's why we need to shit. If we don't shit, we'd end up being obese. And I just made that up.
And guys, I've always wondered, why does poop stinks and why is it brown-coloured?
And actually, poop stinks as a result of the products of bacterial action. Bacteria produces smelly shits and they are the same compounds that gave your farts their odor.
And why is poop brown? I mean like back when I was younger, I often hear I dunno what should I call them, myths or anything but they say when you shit colour is green, it means that you are just born. And if you shit colour is black, well, your clock is ticking. Get religious, dude.
Teehee I dunno guys. I don't find everything about science is fappable. All I know everything in this world when it comes to colours, it's all just about pigments. Now what the hell is pigment? I don't fukken know. Malas nak mengkaji.
And speaking about poops, for you newfags' information, in this world there actually is kind of people whom finds poop or crap sexually arousing themselves. And they even eat it like an ice cream, like in the video Two Girls One Cup.
Or even worse to imagine, you all know spaghetti meatballs right? I've once read and saw the picture of a wife who's eating that shit pasta made out of her husband's shit. OOHH, sounds delicious and sexy, ain't that fukken right?
Tah mana tah aku baca. Lupa link. Sorry tak leh nak share. Kalau share pon, macam la korang nak baca.
Hell no. Of course you'd read it. You guys are just fukken curious to know just like me. Go fuck yourselves :">
So, let's get back to our shit entry. And here comes the definition of poop types.
GHOST Poop: The kind where you feel the poop come out, but there is no poop in the toilet.
CLEAN Poop: The kind where you poop it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the paper when you wipe off your asshole.
SATISFYING Poop: The kind where once you're done, you feel as though you've lost fifty pounds. You leave with a sense of accomplishment.
WET Poop: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels un-wiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't ruin them with a stain.
DECEPTIVE Poop: The kind where you feel like you're about to shit a torpedo, but it turns out to be CORN poop. [CORN poop definition later]
SECOND WAVE Poop: This happens when you're done pooping and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to poop some more.
POP-A-VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD-Poop: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
LINCOLN LOG Poop: The kind of poop that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
GASSY Poop: It's so noisy, everyone within earshot giggles.
DRINKER Poop: The kind of poop you have the morning after a night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.
CORN Poop: (Self-explanatory)
GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-Poop-Poop: The kind where you want to Poop, but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.
SPINAL TAP Poop: This is when it hurts so badly coming out you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.
WET CHEEKS Poop: (Also known as "The Power Dump", or "The Cannonball"). The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.
LIQUID Poop: The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.
Khan's Revenge: (Also known as "Indiandigestion") You ate out at a Indian restaurant and were a hero on the Kari department because you ordered a set of extremely hot and spicy kari. You may have gained the respect of your buddies, but there's a price to pay: an extremely unsatisfied feeling after pooping , and flaming butt cheeks for a day.
UPPER-CLASS Poop: The kind of Poop that has no odor.
THE SURPRISE Poop: You are not at the toilet because you think you are about to fart but... Oops... A sneaky Poop flies out.
DANGLING Poop: This Poop refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done Pooping it. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.
It's just fun to understand more about poop. Which makes you people would have another way to communicate with your buddies, nasty topics, but in a fun and interesting way.
You : Hey, dude. Guess what? I just had a GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-Poop-Poop in the toilet.
Samad : What the..?? YOU DID NOT!!
Ain't that fun?
Aku dah cakap, ini entry tahi. It's too late for you guys to go
P/s : Shit out, shit in.
Reference to EncyclopediaDramatica.