Internet Life #5 - Better Than Porn

Huargh, I'm dealing with some rough nights, I dunno, which made me thinking, what should I do to overcome this feeling? Assholes don't deserve being happy. LOL

Some of the guys might say



"Go watch some porn, dude." moralfags, GTFO



But nahh, I'm gonna have to pass. Bored already with porn. Instead, I'm gonna write something else in my blog. :D

Cause writing a blog when you're at your worst would bring the greatest effect of your talent in writing. And the more you're depressed, the better it gets. Dengan syarat, benda yang ditulis itu adalah perkara tidak berfaedah seperti buat orang marah, kutuk-kutuk orang then pakai ayat sarkastik, dan pornografi.

Sebab syaitan suke berada di sebelah manusia yang tengah vulnerable. Lagi-lagi manusia yang alpa. Yang dah lupe and dah tak boleh bezakan benda baik benda jahat. So syaitan akan menghasut dengan kuasa mereka untuk kasi penulis-penulis blog macam aku ni dapat idea yang best untuk ditulis yang langsung tidak berfaedah. Pastu pembacanya pulak adalah korang. Feeling ashamed enough? LOL

Nah, let's skip this part.

You know what? There's other things which is really better than porn. Yes, there are. When you're used to porn, ataupon kalau korang tak sanggup tengok porn, there's other things that are more enjoyable to watch even though it's kinda... Hurm..

What is it?

Things that are disturbing, things that would freak your mind out, and things that would make you throw up in your mouth and swallow it.

Yes, I'm talking about all that disgusting images and videos of shit and all. Would you want me to post 'em pictures in here, too?

No, I won't do that! My blog has its own boundaries and you of all people do not have the right to request something I wouldn't do.

Nah, I kid. Well, you guys already know it, right? Mesti dah banyak kali tengok orang kena tag dengan gambar-gambar yang menggelikan kat facebook. Kena potong la ape la, darah-darah sume, mayat, bla3 and shits. And even though you said it's disgusting, deep down your heart you'd say


"Oohhh, WOW! This is so much better than porn! In fact, aku tak dapat dosa pon tengok images jijik macam ni!"



Well, I admit, some of you wouldn't really like those shits for real. And some of you would be like freaking out a bit. Tapi, takpe, mula-mula memang susah, nanti lama-lama biasa la. Trust me. :)

Fuck, I'm a freak. Yeah, I know.

There's so many links that I wanna put here. But uh, I don't know, it's just don't feel right, sharing this in my blog.

But just for the record, this might be slowpoke for some of you guys, but I'll just gonna leave this here, KTHXBAI.

Takde benda-benda terkejut, jangan risau, just a test for you guys to see whether you're offended or not.

Try it!



CLICK THIS SHIT -----> OFFENDED




Once again.

Were you offended by what you just saw? Teehee :">






P/s : Level 25.

Credit to Chap for the idea.

Sexist #9 - What, You Think You're Gonna Win?


THIS ENTRY IS 100% SARCASTIC, SERIOUSLY I'M BORED




Been browsing through Facebook and stuffs and one thing just caught my attention.

Status updated from a girl friend, stating out



"Lelaki pandang rupa. jadi tak salah kot perempuan pandang duit kan. (●^ー^●)"



Yeap, with those cute-but-you-know-they're-serious smileys.

And I was taken by surprise that actually until now, there were almost like 20++ person on Facebook has clicked the 'Like' button on that status. Ramai gila setuju! And around 5 person among them were boys! Shit apa ni?

Which made me feel kinda odd, for what have this world turn us men into? Where's our pride? We can't let those wimmenz-alienz outnumbering us!

God damn it, know your place, would you not?




And all I think of today, is about to be written on this shit entry of bashing those little cute women who think that they're gonna feel happy about that statement. No, you don't.

Well, c'mon, here me out, fellas!

Along with the developments and the highly improved living standards of us humans in this earth nowadays, we do admit that women are really productive on influencing the world's economy, politics, and social as we see it right now.

And when we look back in the history, we get what? Wimmenz aren't actually that good like today. All they do in the past were only to support their husbands, making dishes for their family, and taking care of them, too. On the other hand, we, the Men were only obliged to get into business and finding jobs, just to feed our family, yet we provide all the money to our wives to spend wisely because we were too busy working them.

One thing for sure, women should never get out of the kitchen, and they should go on providing limitless sandwiches for us guys! That is why God sent you ladies for us Men! That's your true purpose!





But little by little, those wimmenz tend to realize like


"What the fuck am I doing? This is boring!"



And hey, they actually demand for a gender equality to the world.

It might have been quite a big of a surprise for all of the men in the world, knowing that the women that they have been living together were also into that shit. Gender equality? No, dude, that ain't cool. We're the Men, and it's our job to be smarter, cooler, more productive, and more awesome than those wimmenz!



*****ENOUGH*****



But, that was only in the past, so we've all moved on for now, all those gender equality matter felt normal to the global, for we the Men have finally approved for you Women to join us providing each other, and at the same time, being productive to the world as we see it! So let's look into the present. =)

Hurm, let's see...

Lelaki pandang rupe. Hell, yeah we do :"> And we're proud for it! Not a single moment of shame will bar us all upon having that desire. I mean, let's be realistic, which one would you choose if you were given two choice of a girl?

The beautiful one, or the ugly one? And take love matters out of this discussion please, geez. :">

Of course you jackasses would choose the good-looking ones! Dontcha fukken lie to me!

But, just ignore the fact that Women are just too talkative to deal with. Or you ladies would end up just like these 30% of the Women killed in the world. /sarcasm




And I don't wanna sound gay or anything but, uh.. You ladies have fought with all your might and strength for your demanding of gender equality all this past years. And we guys were cool with that. And what now? You think that it's okay for demanding a guy with deep pockets of money?

Geez, I already told you, approving that gender equality is one helluva big mistake that we Men have done! Look what they have become?

Bagi betis nak peha, bagi peha nak cock.

Oh BTW, just for the record, women drivers suck!




And I'd say, nahh, it's okay for them to judge a guy from their money. Because, I'm not serious in writing this entry anyway! HAHA

But the idea of them having requests yang dorang sume tu pon sebenarnya mampu je nak cari duit sendiri dengan banyak-banyak?

I mean, look at these Wimmenz nowadays, they get the chance to study good education, they get the chance to have a highly professional career, too! Jadi dorang pon boleh la dapat duit banyak-banyak! And what did they say?



"Lelaki pandang rupa. jadi tak salah kot perempuan pandang duit kan. (●^ー^●)"



Yet they already have bright futures but still putting on a demand of rich lovers. WTF?

You Wimmenz have the ability to provide now. You're just equal to us Men anyways these days. Heck, in some cases, you're better than us, too! We guys would never demand anything in return for your gender equality matter, but you're just gonna blackmail us with all of this shit? OH LAWD.

And just to be clear, I'd say.


"Lelaki pandang rupa. jadi tak salah kot perempuan pandang duit kan. And tak salah jugak lelaki pandang duit jugak balik. 'Cause nowadays, you Women are rich, too! So we get to demand both looks and money, while you get to demand only our money! BAHAHAHAHHAH AHAHAH AHHA IN YOUR FACE, LOSERS! (●^ー^●)"



Yeap, still keeping that cute-but-you-know-we're-serious Smiley =)

You wanna be realistic? Now that's my realistic opinion! :D

And what, you want us guys to be fair? Hell no! We can never let you Wimmenz win! That's our purpose in life. If a guys duels with a women, I'd go for the guy, of course. =)))

Haha I actually just kid guys. You know you're doing it wrong when you know it's wrong. But still,




Nah, I'm just having fun writing this entry anyway, it would be a shame if I were to have such mentality like this :"> SO you win girls.

For those who don't get it, rants and maki hamun below. And aku reply awal-awal. Ada dua choice aku leh bagi..


This.




Or giving a bitch slap just for my satisfaction is cool, too :)







P/s : If you know someone is already taken, please RESPECT their relationship. Don't be the reason they end up single.

Shit Video #2 - Not Afraid

Motivational purpose? Nahh. Just love the passion.






P/s : Zalaxia, Azarxel, Zalexandria are my WoW characters' name.

Life #20 - The End

Have you ever had one of those days when you suddenly quit from some important business of your life?

It's based on many perspectives. Some people may call it, "Hell, it's about time." =)

And some does it, because they have realized that their life ain't that good enough. They have many other problems to deal with. And the problem involves the present environment, plus the sacred ability for not being able to forget the past. Which literally came up to one single thing. Quitting.

People quit all the time. People quit in their studies, their professions, and even craps they don't give a shit about. Quitting makes people look weak, but heck, we have no idea what's going on with themselves.

But the main reason of quitting is because they're tired. Tired of making their own life miserable. And on top of that, kalau melibatkan life orang lain pon sama-sama miserable, is it really worth a shot continuing it?

Looking at those Facebook statuses, I once saw a girl, I didn't even know her, her status just appeared on my live feed out of no where [LOL], stating out


"I don't trust in love."


on her facebook profile, and I looked down to her while thinking


"Geez, look at this sad, little bitch."



It's just, at that time, I never get to understand her true feelings. What was actually wrong with this girl? I never get to know that. I just merely jumped to conclusions about how low self-esteem she's got, and I prayed for her to get better.

And now, I knew it. I understand how she actually felt. It's like.. Like I've stated before, you'll never know what it's like unless you've experienced them.

And people might overreact with those things, when it involves other person. They'll say you're a selfish person. You're the dumbest, yet the most messed up, fucked up, screwed up person they have ever met. And shits.

And it will be hard for you hearing them, but you're just gonna bear with it, because you know better what it'll be, and you're scared of trying, so that decision is what you choose. It may seem a bit selfish, but seriously, you have your own reasons.

Okay, I'm gonna stop referring them to "you".

Now these, quitting nutheads, are exactly out of their minds, and fucked almost everything up to pieces and leaving them just like that. They're crazy people, they have lived amongst the wildest life of human nature, and what they decide is for the greater good. 'Cause we don't need crazy people. And you don't need that person. Yeah, you don't. He's the worst form of a male who failed to forget the past and he will always be in that form.

So, here he is, standing up on his own will, saying out loud that he doesn't trust this shit anymore.

Better off trying to focus on study, :"> playing WoW and starting over How I Met Your Mother Series from the beginning. LOL

And continue writing endless, offensive stuff in this shit blog, I guess? ;)

It's hard, but it'll be better. For the greater good. Cause I'm not worth it.

Fuck it. This is my last entry for EmoLife Series. Maybe :"> For I'm quitting it, too.

Overthinking, that makes it feel horrible. And will just continue sharing my point of view in life with another series which name I haven't decide yet.



P/s : Yes, it's all about love. And I'm quitting.

Shit Cover #14 - Di Penjara Janji [Awie]

AHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHA

Ni Acap Tabako punya request, aku try-try ja. Maaf la, memang tak dapat ah nak seserak Awie. Shit ah Awie. Tak guna betoi die.

And sorry for the bad quality for both the minus one and vocal aku jugak AHHA AHAH :">

Shit. Penat-penat recording, upload je la kan. Peduli.







P/s : Hurm. Loner? Exactly.

Hey Fella #4 - We're Gonna Be Fine!

Actually, I'm writing this entry on behalf of all those out there who's been in a break up and dealing with such pain recently. Including a few of my friends, too.

I know that everything right now for you guys are just misery. You don't feel anything, you just feel like wishing all of this is just a dream, like in the movie Inception where actually some of the bad guys are just planting an idea on your brain of you having a break up when actually in real life you were just on the merge of a real break up. But having an inception like this would make you realize that your girlfriend is all you wanted, for now. And what the fuck am I blabbering right now? Forget about it. No hopes.

It's painful, everyone knows that. But by only knowing that feeling is not enough. You have to actually experience that shit by yourself to fully understand it. It's quite hard dealing with a broken heart. And it's quite hard comforting them, too.

There's no way that typical punchlines would work for them. It'll take time to heal.

No bullshit like



"Chillax bro, pompuan ni bersepah-sepah, kang ada la tu pengganti."



No.

And others like



"Hurm, kalau ade jodoh tu ada la..."



Now I know that that is true, yeah, everything is this world is being figured out by God Himself, am I right? So He should know better.

But using words like these won't really make your brokenhearted friend feel better.

All he needs is time. And all he needs from his beloved buddies is for just being there for him. Being a good listener is the best choice. No need to go nasihat-nasihat itu ini, no. They can't afford to accept those shit just like that.

And yeap, even though we, as the friends can't do nothing to help them, but they should know better that they have to gain the strength by themselves! You have to get up!

And I still know, it's hard for you guys, for I'm still not fully recovered from a broken heart, too. Fuck this feeling! That's why I'm writing this fukken entry, for my own fukken good, too, for God's sake.

But you know what? Sometimes we tend to be in despair when the person we love the most leaves us, but the truth is, it's not our fukken loss, for fuck's sake, it's their loss! Screw them all for they left the only person who couldn't give up on them!

You should've known better, my beloved buddies. No, WE should've known better. Letting go of someone dear to you is hard, but holding on to someone who doesn't even feel the same, fukken way is WAYYYYY much harder. And giving up doesn't mean that you're weak! It only means that you're strong enough to let go!

And I know there will be times when we actually miss them. But, hell no. We are not missing them, we don't, guys! We're just missing who we thought they were... And we only loved them for the person we thought they were. They're not the same person anymore for now. And there's nothing you can do but move on with life.

Because pain is inevitable, you have to face it. But suffering - is optional. If you can't save your relationship, at least you just have to save your pride. We're human! We have our pride at stake. And just because of one fella who can't appreciate us just the way we appreciate them, it's not worth it, guys, really. Still, we have to be ashamed of ourselves. But echnically speaking, I'm still ashamed of myself, too. Camne tu? Ugh.

Geez, aku tulis gila babi kencang. Macam la aku handle elok je. Life pon dah macam gampang. No, this is for you, too Zed. LOL

But one thing for sure, don't fukken rush to get over something. Cause you know why, break-ups are like broken mirrors. It's better to leave them broken than to hurt yourself trying and struggling to fix it.

Just let it be. Keep in mind, that you're gonna get over this, and the person who left you can fuck off. No offence. This is a public entry for those who deserves it.

Now, it's our choice, guys. To actually still trying to save our relationship, or just better off letting go for real instead. It's our choice.

You'll be stronger than ever in the future when you're finally able to move on. I promise you this.



P/s : No one can promise they'll never hurt you, because at one time or another, they will. The real promise is if the time you spent together will be worth the pain in the end.

You Laugh You Lose #6






Alright, and we're back with some pics and .gif-s that well, you laugh you lose, bitches!

















































Yeah, any winners? Of course there are. :">



P/s : Happiness and misery in between.

What I Hate About Japan #7 - Slurrrrppppp



Here, take a look.




It kinda sucked when you finally realize yang beras korang kat rumah dah abes and when you go out to buy another 10kg, tengok-tengok supermarket terdekat tutup 10 hari sebab renovation. FFFFUUUUUUU

So what the fuck am I gonna eat on this special 10 days 'vacation'? God damn it.

So I went out to the nearest restaurant, to have my dinner. Aku pergi kedai udon tadi. FYI, maybe I've already told you before, udon ni makanan jepun yang berkuah. Die letak babi dan sup nye diperbuat dari tulang babi.

Okay, just kidding guys. Mana ada babi. Betol ni kali ni. Yang ada babi betol tu Ramen. Won't happen again.

Now, this is udon. Some kind of a noodle which them Japanese are fond of. Boleh tahan sedap sup die. Bile hirup-hirup, hui...




The thing is, I'm a Malay, and I'm not used to eat like the Chinese people when it's about makanan berkuah sebegini. Well you know how those Chinese eat their noodles..



"漂亮的屁股拉 SLUUUURRRRRPPP!!!! CHING CHONG NIP NONG NONG!"




Annoying! Bising! Just like the same here. Biasa la geng-geng mata sepet ni sume satu spesies. Macam Melayu dengan Indon la. Dok ngata masing-masing when in fact both of us are from the same root. LOL

Okay back to topic. And when I was having my dinner kat kedai udon tu, there's other Japanese too. And it feels like eating in a crowd of some mangsa kebuluran from Africa sial.

The "SLURRRRRRRRPPPPPPP" sound was everywhere. I can't help myself but feel like kicking their fukken asses to shut the fuck up. Couldn't you just eat a bit more slowly? God!

And the worst thing about this matter is, being there inside some Japanese Udon shop, changes me.

Which made me thinking that that eating style is kinda awesome though, so after I RRAAAGEEE pada dorang maki-maki dalam pala otak, in the end I end up trying and learning how to eat just like them.

HAHAHA AHHA



P/s : If I was a girl, I would get pregnant as many times as possible, then have abortions after the third month of getting pregnant so I would deliver a potato-sized 1/3 developed dead fetus, then I would take the fetus, put it in a jar of preservative liquid and put in on a shelf in a secret room in my house. And I would do it until I have so many rooms filled with nothing but only potato sized aborted fetuses. Then I would have a kid, and when they're bad, I would make them sit in the fetus room and remind them of how easy I could have aborted their ass.



Brix #9 - Kisah Tudung



Heyya guys! Have you ever woke up in the morning to actually notice that your dad is on top of you,





No, ini takde kaitan dengan entry ni.

Okay, this is one other observation which I manage to make back in Malaysia. You see guys, I was staying at my parents' house in Malacca and I'm bored to death for realizing that actually I don't have any close friends over there. SRSLY I don't. Kalau ada pon, tak bape rapat, and dorang pon ade kelas.

Because since I was little, family aku ni macam nomad. Asyik berpindah-randah because of my father's profession. Sebijik macam orang kena kejar Ah Long sial.

Which turns me into a still, useless lonely fuck who don't have anything to do at home. Just like the same here in Japan. LOL





And because of the depression being lonely at home without nothing to do instead of waking up late at day and showing pathetic smiles to my mom for being a useless son at home, I tend to go out alone, [Yes, alone, guys, ain't that suck?]

Going to the cinema alone, shopping alone, makan sorang-sorang kat shopping mall, memang perasaan die agak Godlike jugak la.

So I can't help myself then to look at people outside. And I've noticed something quite extraordinary compared to last year's summer break.

I actually can't identify which ones are Malaysians or Indonesians. Ain't that awesome? Especially the girls. Serious shit. When I walk alone in the shopping to buy shit, and suddenly a group of young girls with some kind of unique tudung style which made me to actually giving shit at what they are.


"Ui, ramai betol Indon kat sini."


And then I feel like being left out. Why am I the only one being the Malaysian here? :(




But, when I watch closely and carefully, turns out they speak Malaysian language perfectly, which made me realize that they are actually Malaysians, just like me.

It's just because of their fashion style that made me think that they were Indonesians.

Yes, guys. I present you the most popular tudung style in Malaysia nowadays.





Right, righttt? Yeah, I know this is kinda lame, but brace yourselves, for I'm about to write something nice to hear. For those awning keras tudung punya peminat, please GTFO or you'd be awfully butthurt reading this.

You see, I'm just gonna say it.

I hate those fashion. I hate it really much. It looks so ugly, man. Seriously. Why in the hell do they have the idea that they would look beautiful wearing those type of tudungs?

What, you thought you look at those tudung ads which clearly use Actually Beautiful models [Yes, not like you fugly girls] wearing them, and you thought you'd look pretty wearing them, too? Fuck you.



I feel like blaming those ads which gave such a great fantasy to those girls that they'd look pretty just like them. Well, no.

I feel disgusted just by looking at them. Not all of them, for about 3 out of 10 of them do actually look good wearing those. This I admit, because they actually looked nice, maknanya fashion tu sesuai dengan mereka. Dan bukan semua orang sesuai.

Not like you.

Yes, not like you. Don't you see it? You're ugly wearing those. Go find another fashion for your tudung to actually make your head look good. Why don't you just stick with the tudung bawal style? I would very much prefer to suggest that to you, because for me, tudung bawal looks awesome to anyone, but still, only AND only when you know how to wear them to look beautiful.

If I were to be a girl, I would never wear those tudungs bawak kua gi jumpa boyfriend ke, g jalan-jalan kat shopping mall ke ape ke, no, SRSLY I would fukken never do that shit. Koman-koman aku pakai pon just time kua gi halaman rumah nak sidai baju or time menyapu-nyapu kat luar, tu je.

I know, cara pakai tudung tu yang senang la yang membuatkan korang rasa suke pada dia. Well, no, since when in the hell did girls jadi malas berhias-hias ni? Perempuan secara fitrahnya suka berhias, and they'd give anything to look beautiful.

Tapi sejak kewujudan tudung ni, you girls turn to be malas gampang agaknya. Mana gadis Melayu yang aku kenal dulu ni? Yang suke sangat buang masa make up ape benda sume? LOL

Geez, I just don't know. Apa laaa yang cantik sangatnya adoiii laa. Looks like freaking ET to me. Oh Shiiiiiiittttt, it just got outtttt.....


Meh




Bak kata Kimon,


"Kadang-kadang bile nampak perempuan pakai tudung tempek, nampak macam palat juga ya :)"
Yeah, go kill him ladies.


But that's nothing related to tudung Indon neh. Yeap, there's many opinion from us bastards about your tudungs, some of us don't like both tudung Indon and tudung tempek tu. But for me, tudung tempek is still acceptable. I just don't like tudung Indon. Tu je. :)

Sejarah zaman tudung kat Malaysia ni ada macam-macam.

1] Mule-mule, tudung Wardina, tu la bermulanya zaman menempekkan tudung pada dahi.




2] Pastu start tudung Waheeda, ini era-era awal kemunculan tudung Indon ah ni! Sebab dah muncul awning keras depan tu dah. Damn you, Waheeda!




3] And then tudung Bienda, lilit-lilit letak bunga la ape la, tapi jarang jumpa jugak kan? Sebab wimmenz nowadays are lazzzzyyyyyyy HAHAHH AHHA







4]And then baru la kenaikan taraf tudung Indon, iaitu tudung Ekin. Hurm. Geez.




5] Pastu tudung Siti, ni pon okay lagi la kot.



6] And then last but not least, the latest one, tudung Yuna. Kembali la ke zaman tempek-tempek.







*************




Now, don't get me wrong, guys. I'm not looking at this tudung Indon matter from a religious perspective. It's good for you guys to still tutup-tutup aurat. And I feel grateful for that.

I'm looking it from a realistic perspective, whether actually you look good or not. That's all. But, you just look ugly wearing them.

Now, to actually saying this out loud from me alone isn't enough.

Okay, now for the guys with dicks, ask yourselves, honestly, do you actually like those tudung awning keras tu? I know it, you don't. Just because it's a tudung and tudung is synonym with aurat which is a sensitive issue to our religion, you guys tend to keep it to yourself, right? Thus leaving your girlfriends to just wearing those tudungs which deep down inside you, you fukken hate them.

Yes, I know that fact guys, dontcha fukken lie to me.

Sebenarnya, aku dah usha lama sejak dulu-dulu lagi tudung Indon ni sebenarnya. You would actually look pretty wearing them only if korang letak rambut korang bersanggul tinggi kat bahagian atas belakang kepala pastu sarung tudung Indon tuh. Tapi itu pon kalau ikot agama haram jugak kan? Ikot korang la, kuatkan iman masing-masing, aku tak suruh pon. But, honestly for me, macam tu la baru nice. :)





Hurm, dah alang-alang masuk bab-bab tudung ni...

Speaking about tudungs, there are actually a lot of things that I wanna write. You ever walk in the mall, and you ever seen them girls wearing tudung dengan t-shirt lengan pendek? Heh.




You see guys, I fukken hate them, too. No, I hate those types of fashion much muchhh more than just this awning keras punya tudung. It looks so fukken awkward and weird la. So now, what, you're defending your aurat by closing your head with a tudung but opening up your penuh-kurap lengan to public?

Geez, now listen to this. When I see them, they would end up leaving me thinking about why the fuck won't they just buka je tudung tu. Heran betoi aku. Seriously, tutup kepala boleh, t-shirt nak dedah-dedah pulak.

And there's only three things that I could think of.

1] They're scared untuk buka tudung sebab terasa dosa free hair tu lagi besar dari just dedah benda lain. Padahal buka aurat jugak LOL

2] They're actually making an effort untuk mengelakkan terserempak dengan kenalan-kenalan family atau yang seangkatan dengannya, sebab takut kalau jumpa tak pakai jadi heboh satu kampung. Ini aku paham la, aku pon kadang-kadang macam ni. Don't worry, girls, I'm with you guys.

3] And last but not least, I know it, girls. Come on. Your hair don't look good, your hair sucks, rambut korang buruk gila babi, that's why you're ashamed untuk bukak tudung. Kan kan? AHHA HAHAH HAHAH HAHAHAH HHHHA HAHHA


AHAHAH HAHA HAHAH HAHAHHA AAHHHA

HAHAHHAHAHH
AHAHHAHAHHA AHAHAH

HAHHA HAHAHHA AHHHAHAHAH
HAHAHH

AH HAHAHH AHHHAHAHA AHHA HAHA




ADOI =))))))))))


Sucks to be you.

Now, I may seem like an asshole. Well, in fact, I AM an asshole. Deal with it.

HAHAHA AHAHAHHAAHA HAHA AHHAHAHA AHAHA HAHAH AHHHAHAHHA AHHA HAHAHA



P/s : Best gila gelak macam Obe ni.

Shit Cover #13 - The Spirit Carries On [Dream Theater]

Last summer before I went back to Malaysia spending my summer holidays, I managed to be able getting done my part in this project. A kinda big project which five of us friends in Japan all from Gifu, Nagoya, Yamagata, and Toyama.

Yes, all of us were separated by distance but we can still be able to give all our commitment and effort into completing this project. Cheers to all of us!

So sebab project ni dah lama abes, and Leperd pon dah upload kat Facebook die, so I took the chance to re-upload it on Youtube and at the same time posting the link here in my shit blog.

A song from Dream Theater, entitled The Spirit Carries On which have its own strength of its lyrics and music.

And special thanks to Leperd Saifa for editing the whole audio and video of us.

Enjoy!






Had a good time recording and may we have the chance to collaborate with each other again! :)


P/s : Fun Fact about rokok from Zarina : Kumpul duit rokok 4 tahun dapat RM20000 leh meminang anak dara orang. LOL


Credit [With links] to Leperd Safia, Aji Che Seliman, Hanis Zen, Matsushita Naoko

What I Hate About Japan #6 - Harga Rokok Naik Lagi

Bila aku balik dari Malaysia, aku seronok bila dapat tau harga rokok kat Malaysia naik sebanyak 70 sen. Ya, aku seronok. Aku seronok sebab time aku dah nak balik Jepun baru die reti nak naik harga. Padan muke korang HAHAHAHA.


HA HA HAHAHAHAHHA AHHA



But those excitement I get weren't gonna last long as I expected. The day I got back here in Japan, I was frustrated to see the cigarettes' prices in here were also increased. And then I was like LOL-ing at myself to be passionately happy about harga rokok kat Malaysia naik without realizing that the prices in Japan were also the same.

Ya, padan muka aku. Babi betoi.

You know guys, cigarettes in here aren't like the cigarettes in Malaysia. I dunno about other countries, but the cigarettes in here have all the details written on it, how many miligrams of healthy elements that it contains, macam tar dan nikotin dan segala rkandungan-kandungan berkhasiat untuk kesihatan tu semua.

Kat Malaysia macam takde tak silap aku. Entah. Do correct me if I'm wrong.

And kalau rokok kat Malaysia naik 7o sen, rokok kat sini lagi gila babi pukimak naik. Haram jadah betoi. Okay, let me picture this to you fellas.

Time aku kat Malaysia, aku pasan harga Dunhill merah sekotak tu RM9.30. Pastu sekarang dah naik 70 sen, jadi RM10 la kan. Agak FFUUUU jugak la untuk para pencinta rokok di Malaysia. Kesian depa.

Tapi para perokok di Jepun lagi kesian. Untuk warga Malaysia di Jepun pon laaaaagi la kesian. Shit betoi.

Sebab ape, harga asal rokok kat sini untuk pelbagai jenama before dorang raise-kan harga dia adalah 300-320 yen [From the latest currency, those prices are equal to RM11.30-RM12.10]

And yes, harga tu kire mahal sikit la banding Malaysia, tapi takpe, aku dah hidup setahun lebih memendekkan nyawa kat sini, so dah biasa dengan harga camtu. It's okay for me.

Tapi sejak naik harga, die bukannya nak tibai naik macam 70 sen ke ape, trus naik sebanyak 100-120 yen [RM3.78-RM4.50] sial.

Jadi harga-harga rokok kat sini dari pelbagai brand dari 300-320 yen tadi terus jadi 420-440 yen [RM15.90-RM16.60]. FFFUUUUUU

Tapi, sebenarnya tu aku tak berapa nak kesah sangat sebenarnya. Sebab still mampu, biasa la kat sini taraf hidup ape semua tinggi kan, so even harga die camtu, boleh je lagi beli-beli macam biasa. But as a Malaysian yang baru je pulang bercuti dari Malaysia, otak mesti hanya reti nak convert harga semua barang kat sini jadi harga ringgit je. Agak gampang la jugak. Tapi takpe, sume tu aku okay.

What I hate about those price raise here in Japan is, macam aku kata tadi, rokok kat sini ade details sume die tunjuk.

Macam ni ha, aku semangat tangkap pic kasi tunjuk kat korang ni. LOL


Yes, aku hisap Marlboro merah ni. Sebab aku suke kaler merah.




Ha, nampak tak kandungan die tu?


Die tulis situ

Tar - 12mg
Nicotine - 1.0mg



Yes, so dari situ kita tau berapa banyak kandungan khasiat yang dia ada kat dalam sebatang rokok tu. And bilangan miligram rokok tu berbeza mengikut kotak rokok yang korang nak pilih. Dia ada choice la kat kedai nak pilih berapa miligram, nak cepat mati ke nak hidup lama sikit, dan ianya meliputi dari 1mg sehingga la 12mg la kalau tak silap aku. Tapi even kandungan berbeza, sume harga tetap sama. Ha, so korang tau la aku pilih yang paling berat 12mg. LOL

Ok, off topic kejap, but for your own information, bilangan miligram pada Dunhill merah yang ada kat Malaysia adalah 20mg. So no wonder orang Malaysia cepat mati and iklan anti-rokok nok horom punya menakutkan. HAHAHA AHHA

Yang aku jadi geram dengan diri sendirinya adalah because of the choice given, and the unexpected price raise, aku jadi thrifty and cheapskate even bile bab-bab nak kasi cepat mampos ni.

Oklah, untuk kasi senang paham, do you ever had a dilemma with two jackets that you're about to buy which has the same price but different style? Satu jacket ada hood, and satu lagi takdak, tapi dua-dua nice. Which one would you choose?

And for me, when I'm given the situation above I would choose the one with the hood, because in my head, I think of it like


"Yang ni kain die lebih, so lagi berbaloi kot beli yang ni.. Hurmmmmmm."


Yes, and memang itu yang aku pilih. Dan aku puas hati. Simple logic right?



And the worst thing about this feeling is, bab rokok ni pon aku dah ada dilemma jugak and cara berfikir dah jadi macam ni dah sekarang. Alangkah keparatnya.


"Hurmmm, rokok yang ni lagi berat die punya miligram, tak berbaloi pulak rasanya nak beli yang 4mg ke 6mg ke 8mg ke, so lagi berbaloi beli yang paling tinggi 12mg ni rasanya (^____________^) hehehe."



Pastu aku senang hati sebab berjaya buat pilihan yang tepat. Kita perlu bijak berbelanja! Simple logic la kan? Benda-benda camni, kite kena la pikir betol-betol, untuk membuat sesuatu pilihan.

HAHAHA suke-suke :D

Hurmmm.

But, then I wondered...




Tiba-tiba teringat sal kecelakaan rokok, terus aku terasa messed up gile pemikiran. We all know lagi berat lagi la cepat mati. Tapi because of being cheapskate aku sanggup pikir camtu. Agak fucked up jugak sebenarnya.

And that's all, fellas. I know you're about to say


"Kalau camtu, stop jela smoke, padan muka!".


And I'd say,


"Iyee, nanti aku stop punya-lah. Takda hal baiii. :">"



And cheers to all of the smokers out there, we smoke together, we die together.

Yeaaaaahhhhhh!



P/s : Cakap pasal dilemma, hui aku dilemma teruk jugak sekarang. Kah3.

Shit Cover #12 - Wouldn't Change A Thing [Joe Jonas & Demi Lovato]



I've never heard of this song before. And someone forced me to. I cried all day all night because she made me listen to this song. Teehee

Nah, I'm bullshitting. :">

The first time I heard of this song, I admit to you that I'm kinda being possessed by it. Dengan ada orang stok pandai gila taktik memikat hati =))

And I don't care. Aku rela aku rela. BTW, who among you readers who watch Gumiho? Sangat sweet bukan? <-- Yeah guys, I do watch that Korean drama if y'all wondering about.

Okay, fellas. Just hear this out, will ya? Another cover Amalia and I made just now. Thanks to her for choosing this great song this time. :)






Yes, and just for the LULz, this is us.




And look how fucking FAT ass I was back then. Eh tapi sekarang gemok lagi sial hurm kk.

Alright then you guys. Till then :)



P/s : I wanna say those words, but I'm scared of hurting you in the future.

Random Shit Story #10 - And We Met Sha, The Mysterious Girl in Taiping





Heyya guys, it's been so longgg :D :D :D


Random image, totally not related.



While I'm away taking a break and fucked off to Malaysia for 45 days, I did take advantage of the moment to observe everything in Malaysia, just to write about it in my blog, for the LULz.





And this is one of the craziest shit that I have done. No. That we've done. Okay, just hear me out will ya?

I went back to Malaysia last 15th August. And for the sake of meeting my old friends, I attend my school batch's reunion which were held on that 20th August at my school in Taiping. And for your information, my highschool was Sekolah Menengah Sains Raja Tun Azlan Shah [SERATAS].





Ok, I know you don't need to know this, but my school is quite really messed up right now. With all the students' problems, and even everyone hated the Principal, even the teachers hate her *yes, the principal is a women, so no wonder la hehe :">*, too. But who gives a fuck, right?

Haih, aku kesian sebenarnya dengan budak-budak sekolah aku tu. Hurmm.

Well, let's just move on. And we just enjoyed ourselves like normal old friends when meeting their old friends, right? Chilling and doing stupid stuffs that you won't do with your friends now. Kawan 5 tahun asrama beb, you all know what it's gonna be when we're finally able to meet each other after 5 fucking years.

The reunion was planned to be 3 days and 2 night, and we all slept at the students' room in the hostel, there was a dorm provided for all of us, one for the dicks in the boys' hostel, and one for the pussies in the girls' hostel.

And those two nights we spent together was one helluva experience of an epic moment of hardcore laughing and entertaining ourselves. Cause you know why?

We had our own stories. And one of them that I'm gonna spend my time writing this shit entry for you readers.

Behold.

But, I'm just gonna get back to that, later. Now, let's hear this, first.

Bile time sekolah dulu, kalau nak outing, kena jalan jauh. I've been there for 5 years, and it scares the crap out of me, when at moments I have to walk alone, when going out for outing to Bandar Taiping, around two fucking kilometres from school. Dua kilometer sial. Nak naik teksi, biasa la budak sekolah, takde duit.

Which those two kilometres are located in some kind of a big park called Taman Tasek Taiping,


Sumpah cantik sebenarnya Taman ni.



This park is surrounded by beautiful lakes, where normally, instead of accidentally found used condoms everywhere, *true shit* you sons of bitches would think of that park being so incredibly lovely and nice and all.

But seriously guys, because of the size of that park, we kids *yeap, we were kids back then* were scared of three things.

Sepanjang perjalanan tu, those three fucking things that I'm really scared of was..



1. JUMPA BERUK LIAR.


Jumpa beruk liar berkeliaran. Butoh gile sial kat Taiping tak hengat punya nok horommm punya banyak beruk. Macam gampang. FYI, Taiping terkenal dengan Zoo Taiping. So you know how fast could those monkeys breed with each other. Siap ade terlepas lagi ke luar-luar jadi haiwan liar plak. Could you imagine yourself walking alone and near to you was a big bunch of monkeys? It feels like taking a view in Africa sial. Just bezanya Africa ade banyak lagi haiwan-haiwan liar yang jauh lagi Godlike dari monyet.




But could you just fucking imagine the feeling? You walking alone down the street, when slowly you caught their attention, and immediately they come crawl together to you, while you have nothing to do but pray to death? Monkeys, you don't play with them la brader. Kalau sekor pon dah macam gampang, ramai-ramai camtu, WTF pukimak gile ah sial kalau terbayang kena serbu dengan dorang. You ever seen one of them safari shows, where a bunch of cheetahs just jump on an antelope? HA!

It may seem funny, but this.. This.. I don't make fun about, guys..


*SERIOUS FACE LOL*



2. MAT-MAT PAU YANG PUKIMAK


Ya, mat-mat pau ni takde yang tak pukimak. Sume macam lancau. You see, I understand you have no money at all for your lunch, but what the fuck, man. Nak pau budak bawah umur baii. Siap kitorang pakai baju batik lagi tu dowww, Sial apa wakakaa. Adoi la.

And about this, I do have my own experience. When I was in my Form 2, aku tengah berjalan bertiga kat dalam Taman Tasek tu, skali ade mat pau dua orang came out from nowhere.


MAT PAU 1 : Adek, ade duit tak, lapar laaa..
NAS [MY FRIEND] : Er, takde la, cukup2 je nak pakai ni..
MAT PAU 2 : Ala, takkan singgit pon takde dekk..
NAS : Hurm, kalau singgit, saya ade la kot.
MAT PAU 1 : Ha, elok la tu, korang kan ade bertiga. Bak mai singgit sorang. Dapat rm3. :)




Hurm.



Bile pikir balik, siyes bodoh. RM3 je. Haih. I bet those guys pon entah2 budak tak abes sekolah jugak time tu.

Yang penting, takde kena pau banyak-banyak. And I heard some yang kena agak teruk.



3. PARA BAPOK TAIPING YANG MENGGODA

Not this shemale of course



Well, to be honest, I've never experienced this moment before, I've only heard of it from friends and juniors and seniors. Because guys, seriously. Those bapok are not just only gay, but they are fucking pedophiles, too. Pedophiles WOI. Jumpa budak-budak laki comel sikit bawah umur berbaju batik biru berseluar putih tanda budak SERATAS, takpon berbaju batik hijau MRSM TAIPING *ha ini sekolah Nazeep, go ask him* hui, you won't wanna imagine the feeling about this. Lagi-lagi bile sengsorang. Sengsara sial.

Thank God I never had the chance to meet one of those. But today come to think of it, I actually met those bapoks before. Gile sial. Tapi situasi kali ni berbeza la.

***********


Okay, nak start cite, come come pay attention please.

It all started that night time reunion. Time reunion dulu tu, time tu puasa and after we broke our fast together ramai-ramai satu batch kat kedai, all of us parted ways, sapa-sapa nak lepak dengan sapa-sapa ikot suka hati dorang la. And I went with my close friends, of course.

We went karaoke-ing, at Taiping Sentral. And after that, around 12am, kitorang lepak-lepak kat Mapley bawah tu. And that Mapley was super crowded by all those normal people like us.

And at our table kat Mapley tu, I have this one close friend of mine called Atok.




Orang kata dia hensem. HAHA. But, yes, ladies, he's quite handsome, with that thick eyebrows of his and that tough worked-out body LOL

Okay.

And because of his handsomeness, of all of us, he himself caught this one person's attention. We didn't even know about that, until



*WAITER DATANG*
Waiter : *Talks to Atok* Abang, akak pakai baju merah belakang tu kemsalam.
All of Us : LOLWTF SIAL. Handsome gile Atok, sampai ade awek kemsalam kat Mapley, FUCK!




And of course, biasa la, kalau ade admirer ni, suka la kan? Kan kan? :">

So we all looked at the group behind of us, trying to find the girl.

Tapi, hurm. All we saw was a table of Bapok-Bapok Taiping tengah lepak berempat makan roti canai. Muke-muke jantan sekor-sekor.



FLASH BACK : Abang, akak pakai BAJU MERAH belakang tu kemsalam.



Hurm, baju merah. Oh, tu dia.

Ok.

Not bad.

*Coughs*

FUCK.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU


....Muke jantan betol-betol sialllllll, tgk betol-betol depan-depan tu sume....

Hurmmm, tunggu lama sikit.. Waiter yang sama datang lagi. WTF baru pasan waiter ni pon lembut jugak. Patut la die asyik ke meja bapok2 tu je wakaka. Baaaaaabi ape... Asyik-asyik mindfuck je sial malam tu adoi la.



WAITER : Abang, akak tadi tu nah, die bagi nombor ni hehe *while passing a little piece of note written down...*


Yes, and I censored the number.



Hurm. Nombor tepon dow, die bagi. :)

Tapi bapok sial. Kenapaaa..

Muke jantan duh. No wonder 'she' got the balls to give 'her' number to Atok. Serious shit, muke jantan abes, dalam group tu pon memang sume laki ah senang kata empat2 orang tu. SHIT.

And we all burst into laughter yang ditahan-tahan. Babi tak tahan dow. Dekat sangat meja dorang tu. Takleh nak gelak kuat-kuat sial.

Tapi ini bahan lawak ni. We have to bring the best out of it! And I, started the mission to prank that Sha..



ZED : Atok, takkan ang nak abes camni je dow? Mana bole sial, ini malam kite bukan selalu jumpa, jom ah kasi enjoy abes-abesan bahan ni HAHAHA.
ATOK : Camne? Haha.
ZED : Jap, jap, meh aku pegi kat meja tu, kasi kompom sapa Sha ni sebenarnya.
SUME : HAHAHAHHAHA WOI.
ZED : Lek a doww, kite bukan orang sini dahh. Buat palat hari ni, esok luse kite dah balik, bukan dorang nampak kite dah hahahaha.



Yeap, and that what's I thought.

And off I went to that table of Bapoks, and after gaining the strength to actually approach them...



ZED : Helloo, sumee :D
BAPOK2 : Eh, haiii..
ZED : Ni saya saja la, saya kawan abang tu tadi, saja saya datang wakil die kejap ni, sapa Sha ni ye sebenarnya? :)
BAPOK2 : *All together gets blushed together for fucking no reason, passing each other untuk siapa sha yang sebenarnya. Ugh.*




Padahal terang-terang Sha pakai baju merah, saja nak timba pengalaman tegur jugak kan teehee :">

Last-last, memang yang pakai baju merah tu ngaku.


SHA : Ye, saya.. :">
ZED : Ha, ni Atok, Sha tu... :D *waves at Atok from a far*




Atok pon pandang kejap pastu lambai kat Sha. LOL teasing sial.

So I thought the conversation would have just ended like that. But, waitt---



BAPOK 2 : Eh, yang ni pulak siapa nama? :">
ZED : *WTF Aku pulak* Eh hehehe eheh ehehe takde, saya saje je ni.. :"> *while slowly gets away from them, putting both hands in the air*




Babi cuak sial.

Then aku pon kembali ke meja kitorang. Ingat bahan ketawa malam tu akan abes camtu jela. Tapi..

Here comes Pam. Member aku jugak, die dari mana tah datang lambat sket. Pam ni otak lagi gile sikit. Macam gampang. Tapi gile-gile die pon, jadi treasurer reunion baiii. LOL

So bile die sampai, he had no idea what's going on around himself. So we just gave him the little note with an unknown number in it.



TE' [Member] : Weh, pam nah call nombor ni sekarang.
PAM : *Without any doubt* Kay.



And die bawak kua phone die, trus dail sial. LOLOL. And of course that Sha picked up the phone. Sambil-sambil Pam sorok-sorok sikit yang die tengah cakap, Atok letak phone kat telinga, to show that konon-konon die yang tengah call. Babi lawak sial. Those act were actually awesome, everyone gave commitment in it, and those Bapoks and Sha himself actually bought it, for real. LOL Mission One berjaya! :D

Tapi tak habes lagi!

And then we went back to our hostel. Time tu dah nak pukul 1, and we're fucking exhausted but extremely enjoyed ourselves with everything that's worth laughing about.

Tengah-tengah lepak sembang-sembang tu, tiba-tiba phone Pam berbunyi. Ade message.

Unknown number. Sebab Pam of course la tak save. It's from Sha. AWWW :) Die bagi message sial. Abes ah Pam.

Jadi la bahan ketawa lagi. LOL Pam and Te' turned shift just to reply all his messages wakaka.

When we arrived at this exact moment, I dunno about Sha, whether he just can't get Atok's imaginery body, the fuck out of his head, or he just can't bear with all the ejaculation he's gonna have tonight, with Atok. LOL.


Ketika menikmati bahan lawak ini..



Yes, ladies and gentlemen, all for the LULz, I present you the phone log that we had with Sha. He actually called us, and we panicked for a moment, dok pikir sapa yang berani nak cakap HAHA.

Last-last Pokok beranikan diri, menyamar sebagai Atok, and answered the phone.

Aku lambat sket record conversation dorang ni. So before aku tekan button record kat phone aku ni, let me explain what Pokok were talking with Sha about.

Pokok mencipta situasi yang sebenarnya dia/Atok adalah anak kepada Pak Jaga kat Sekolah Tunas Bakti. Sekolah Tunas Bakti ni buat pengetahuan korang sekolah tu betol-betol sekolah sebelah sekolah kitorang, sekolah budak-budak bermasalah.

And Pokok states that he's sleeping over there for the weekend with his Dad and his friends around. So, kalau dah cakap anak Pak Jaga sekolah budak jahat tu, kena sangat la, dekat pon dekat, imej sebagai Pak Jaga yang fierce pon ade. LOL

So, ni jela yang mampu aku record HAHA. And imagine this being recorded on a speakerphone being crowded by around 15 of us motherfuckers dok tahan-tahan gelak bagai nak gila.

Enjoy!







Haha adoi laaa. Those moments, guys, nak tahan gelak ramai-ramai tu beb. Susah bodooooo. Gile babi sekor2 bagi komitmen sial. Ramai kot WAKAKA.

Tapi sebab ending conversation dengan Pokok tu tergantung, beberapa minit kemudian, he called again. Sigh. This time, Pokok dah tak sanggup dah nak bercakap, die tak tahan katanya. Jadi siapa nak cakap ni doww..

So, I took this chance, to improve my communication skills. :"> And as I picked up that very phone, I told myself to bring out the best out of this shit. And I did tried my best. Lama gile sial aku bercakap dengan die. Sampai deep down aku dah rasa bosan sebenarnya. LOL

Tapi, nampak obvious la dow kalau aku cakap, sbelum ni tadi Pokok cakap gaya lain, sekali aku cakap mesti gaya lain dow.

Ah pegi mampos. Tibai je wakaka.







Ending tergantung lagi dowww. Camne ni, kalau die call lagi? We really had enough LULZ for today, seriously, dah penat sial, dok gelak cam gampang. Nak dekat kol 2 pagi. Nak sahur lagi. Haih.

So we created a plan. We wrote a situation where actually Atok gave an effort to go out meeting Sha, but unfortunately, Atok's dad [iaitu seorang Pak Jaga ganas] won't let him out, considering who's he meeting is obviously unknown.

And we even asked Sebui, who's voice is just like an old scary man, to act as the Father, just in case Sha called again.

And actually, he did, guys, called again. LOL, bertuah ko Sebui, dapat beraksi jugak. Sumpah sore ko macam sial.






Time ending Sebui, macam gampang dow jadi bahan ketawa wakaka. He seems like nakkkk lagi bercakap dengan Sha tu, even though he's actually Atok's dad in this situation. And we all bahan Sebui kata die sangap Bapok punya dick sial haha. I dunno guys, to me and my friends, this is superbly funny. You don't think it's funny? :"> No?

Then GTFO ehehe hehe heeheheh eheheheh.

Sigh, and it all ended just like that. We keep talking about this shit till then. As it was the greatest memory for our reunion. :D And Pam even managed to find Sha's facebook account. And hell no, I ain't sharing the link with you numbnuts. Malas ulang sejarah sial.

Aku just kesian kat Pam je, sebab yang jadi mangsa phone nye die HAHA, because even until now, he keeps bothering him, asking about how's he's doing, when inside his head, he has no idea even the slightest bit that all those conversation that we had were not from Atok, at all. HAW HAW HAW

So itu la perkara Setan yang aku buat cuti ni. Takde teruk sangat kot kan?



P/s : If you're still wondering how he looks like, go to the top of this entry :)

Credit to Pam, Sebui, Pokok, Te, Atok, and everyone who tried their best to shut the fuck up while the conversation was being recorded LOL