Life #19 - What The Fuck Am I Still Doing

Woh, I'm finally back with another entry to write. Too bad for you guys, this entry isn't the one which you can laugh about. Yes, it's me at my worst. And come to think of it, I'm always at my worst. Tak pernahnya aku melonjak naik HA HA HA.

Fuck it, sometimes I feel like quitting life. As in, killing myself. HAW HAW HAW. Too bad I'm gonna rot in hell eventually if I did commit suicide. So, tak nak aku, iman tu masih ada la, Alhamdulillah. TEE HEE :">

But if I could get the chance to pray to God to ask him to let me die a lot more sooner, I'd really wish for a quick and painless one. And the most important thing, I would really like to die as a good Muslim. Sekarang dah macam setan, shit gile.

Kalau dah sampai tahap nak pikir give up hidup, well, I hope you guys would understand in which state I am right now. It feels so empty. So fucking empty, and the suckiest part about this emptiness is that it is so abject, so deep, so depressing, and it's like some soul destroying combination of emptiness. It's like a big black hole being opened up your chest and its gravity is sucking all the sadness in the world towards you. [To obefags, just STFU]

But you..

You just couldn't do and couldn't afford to do anything... but...

But laugh. HA HA HA HA HA.


Fuck my life.

Seriously, what the fuck am I still doing?

Nak berazam pun lemah, nak cakap pada orang mengenai azam hidup pon tak mampu. Guess I'd just have to come up with a better lifestyle. And I'm fucking doing it right now.


Lega sket laa. Sket je. Ok la tu kot.

God help me.

P/s : Tak nak duh jadi sembang keling.


lufkin said...

It's been a long time... I hope it's not about wimmenz..

zedRadzai said...

Sorry lufkin. long time no see, dude.

and no, it's about everything.

Anonymous said...

lol zaid.
chilax la
dtg la nagoya slalu
kan ada teman2 mu

zedRadzai said...

haha tgh chillax la ni sbb tu mampu lagi bergelak ketawa dalam kekosongan.