Random Shit Story #10 - And We Met Sha, The Mysterious Girl in Taiping





Heyya guys, it's been so longgg :D :D :D


Random image, totally not related.



While I'm away taking a break and fucked off to Malaysia for 45 days, I did take advantage of the moment to observe everything in Malaysia, just to write about it in my blog, for the LULz.





And this is one of the craziest shit that I have done. No. That we've done. Okay, just hear me out will ya?

I went back to Malaysia last 15th August. And for the sake of meeting my old friends, I attend my school batch's reunion which were held on that 20th August at my school in Taiping. And for your information, my highschool was Sekolah Menengah Sains Raja Tun Azlan Shah [SERATAS].





Ok, I know you don't need to know this, but my school is quite really messed up right now. With all the students' problems, and even everyone hated the Principal, even the teachers hate her *yes, the principal is a women, so no wonder la hehe :">*, too. But who gives a fuck, right?

Haih, aku kesian sebenarnya dengan budak-budak sekolah aku tu. Hurmm.

Well, let's just move on. And we just enjoyed ourselves like normal old friends when meeting their old friends, right? Chilling and doing stupid stuffs that you won't do with your friends now. Kawan 5 tahun asrama beb, you all know what it's gonna be when we're finally able to meet each other after 5 fucking years.

The reunion was planned to be 3 days and 2 night, and we all slept at the students' room in the hostel, there was a dorm provided for all of us, one for the dicks in the boys' hostel, and one for the pussies in the girls' hostel.

And those two nights we spent together was one helluva experience of an epic moment of hardcore laughing and entertaining ourselves. Cause you know why?

We had our own stories. And one of them that I'm gonna spend my time writing this shit entry for you readers.

Behold.

But, I'm just gonna get back to that, later. Now, let's hear this, first.

Bile time sekolah dulu, kalau nak outing, kena jalan jauh. I've been there for 5 years, and it scares the crap out of me, when at moments I have to walk alone, when going out for outing to Bandar Taiping, around two fucking kilometres from school. Dua kilometer sial. Nak naik teksi, biasa la budak sekolah, takde duit.

Which those two kilometres are located in some kind of a big park called Taman Tasek Taiping,


Sumpah cantik sebenarnya Taman ni.



This park is surrounded by beautiful lakes, where normally, instead of accidentally found used condoms everywhere, *true shit* you sons of bitches would think of that park being so incredibly lovely and nice and all.

But seriously guys, because of the size of that park, we kids *yeap, we were kids back then* were scared of three things.

Sepanjang perjalanan tu, those three fucking things that I'm really scared of was..



1. JUMPA BERUK LIAR.


Jumpa beruk liar berkeliaran. Butoh gile sial kat Taiping tak hengat punya nok horommm punya banyak beruk. Macam gampang. FYI, Taiping terkenal dengan Zoo Taiping. So you know how fast could those monkeys breed with each other. Siap ade terlepas lagi ke luar-luar jadi haiwan liar plak. Could you imagine yourself walking alone and near to you was a big bunch of monkeys? It feels like taking a view in Africa sial. Just bezanya Africa ade banyak lagi haiwan-haiwan liar yang jauh lagi Godlike dari monyet.




But could you just fucking imagine the feeling? You walking alone down the street, when slowly you caught their attention, and immediately they come crawl together to you, while you have nothing to do but pray to death? Monkeys, you don't play with them la brader. Kalau sekor pon dah macam gampang, ramai-ramai camtu, WTF pukimak gile ah sial kalau terbayang kena serbu dengan dorang. You ever seen one of them safari shows, where a bunch of cheetahs just jump on an antelope? HA!

It may seem funny, but this.. This.. I don't make fun about, guys..


*SERIOUS FACE LOL*



2. MAT-MAT PAU YANG PUKIMAK


Ya, mat-mat pau ni takde yang tak pukimak. Sume macam lancau. You see, I understand you have no money at all for your lunch, but what the fuck, man. Nak pau budak bawah umur baii. Siap kitorang pakai baju batik lagi tu dowww, Sial apa wakakaa. Adoi la.

And about this, I do have my own experience. When I was in my Form 2, aku tengah berjalan bertiga kat dalam Taman Tasek tu, skali ade mat pau dua orang came out from nowhere.


MAT PAU 1 : Adek, ade duit tak, lapar laaa..
NAS [MY FRIEND] : Er, takde la, cukup2 je nak pakai ni..
MAT PAU 2 : Ala, takkan singgit pon takde dekk..
NAS : Hurm, kalau singgit, saya ade la kot.
MAT PAU 1 : Ha, elok la tu, korang kan ade bertiga. Bak mai singgit sorang. Dapat rm3. :)




Hurm.



Bile pikir balik, siyes bodoh. RM3 je. Haih. I bet those guys pon entah2 budak tak abes sekolah jugak time tu.

Yang penting, takde kena pau banyak-banyak. And I heard some yang kena agak teruk.



3. PARA BAPOK TAIPING YANG MENGGODA

Not this shemale of course



Well, to be honest, I've never experienced this moment before, I've only heard of it from friends and juniors and seniors. Because guys, seriously. Those bapok are not just only gay, but they are fucking pedophiles, too. Pedophiles WOI. Jumpa budak-budak laki comel sikit bawah umur berbaju batik biru berseluar putih tanda budak SERATAS, takpon berbaju batik hijau MRSM TAIPING *ha ini sekolah Nazeep, go ask him* hui, you won't wanna imagine the feeling about this. Lagi-lagi bile sengsorang. Sengsara sial.

Thank God I never had the chance to meet one of those. But today come to think of it, I actually met those bapoks before. Gile sial. Tapi situasi kali ni berbeza la.

***********


Okay, nak start cite, come come pay attention please.

It all started that night time reunion. Time reunion dulu tu, time tu puasa and after we broke our fast together ramai-ramai satu batch kat kedai, all of us parted ways, sapa-sapa nak lepak dengan sapa-sapa ikot suka hati dorang la. And I went with my close friends, of course.

We went karaoke-ing, at Taiping Sentral. And after that, around 12am, kitorang lepak-lepak kat Mapley bawah tu. And that Mapley was super crowded by all those normal people like us.

And at our table kat Mapley tu, I have this one close friend of mine called Atok.




Orang kata dia hensem. HAHA. But, yes, ladies, he's quite handsome, with that thick eyebrows of his and that tough worked-out body LOL

Okay.

And because of his handsomeness, of all of us, he himself caught this one person's attention. We didn't even know about that, until



*WAITER DATANG*
Waiter : *Talks to Atok* Abang, akak pakai baju merah belakang tu kemsalam.
All of Us : LOLWTF SIAL. Handsome gile Atok, sampai ade awek kemsalam kat Mapley, FUCK!




And of course, biasa la, kalau ade admirer ni, suka la kan? Kan kan? :">

So we all looked at the group behind of us, trying to find the girl.

Tapi, hurm. All we saw was a table of Bapok-Bapok Taiping tengah lepak berempat makan roti canai. Muke-muke jantan sekor-sekor.



FLASH BACK : Abang, akak pakai BAJU MERAH belakang tu kemsalam.



Hurm, baju merah. Oh, tu dia.

Ok.

Not bad.

*Coughs*

FUCK.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU


....Muke jantan betol-betol sialllllll, tgk betol-betol depan-depan tu sume....

Hurmmm, tunggu lama sikit.. Waiter yang sama datang lagi. WTF baru pasan waiter ni pon lembut jugak. Patut la die asyik ke meja bapok2 tu je wakaka. Baaaaaabi ape... Asyik-asyik mindfuck je sial malam tu adoi la.



WAITER : Abang, akak tadi tu nah, die bagi nombor ni hehe *while passing a little piece of note written down...*


Yes, and I censored the number.



Hurm. Nombor tepon dow, die bagi. :)

Tapi bapok sial. Kenapaaa..

Muke jantan duh. No wonder 'she' got the balls to give 'her' number to Atok. Serious shit, muke jantan abes, dalam group tu pon memang sume laki ah senang kata empat2 orang tu. SHIT.

And we all burst into laughter yang ditahan-tahan. Babi tak tahan dow. Dekat sangat meja dorang tu. Takleh nak gelak kuat-kuat sial.

Tapi ini bahan lawak ni. We have to bring the best out of it! And I, started the mission to prank that Sha..



ZED : Atok, takkan ang nak abes camni je dow? Mana bole sial, ini malam kite bukan selalu jumpa, jom ah kasi enjoy abes-abesan bahan ni HAHAHA.
ATOK : Camne? Haha.
ZED : Jap, jap, meh aku pegi kat meja tu, kasi kompom sapa Sha ni sebenarnya.
SUME : HAHAHAHHAHA WOI.
ZED : Lek a doww, kite bukan orang sini dahh. Buat palat hari ni, esok luse kite dah balik, bukan dorang nampak kite dah hahahaha.



Yeap, and that what's I thought.

And off I went to that table of Bapoks, and after gaining the strength to actually approach them...



ZED : Helloo, sumee :D
BAPOK2 : Eh, haiii..
ZED : Ni saya saja la, saya kawan abang tu tadi, saja saya datang wakil die kejap ni, sapa Sha ni ye sebenarnya? :)
BAPOK2 : *All together gets blushed together for fucking no reason, passing each other untuk siapa sha yang sebenarnya. Ugh.*




Padahal terang-terang Sha pakai baju merah, saja nak timba pengalaman tegur jugak kan teehee :">

Last-last, memang yang pakai baju merah tu ngaku.


SHA : Ye, saya.. :">
ZED : Ha, ni Atok, Sha tu... :D *waves at Atok from a far*




Atok pon pandang kejap pastu lambai kat Sha. LOL teasing sial.

So I thought the conversation would have just ended like that. But, waitt---



BAPOK 2 : Eh, yang ni pulak siapa nama? :">
ZED : *WTF Aku pulak* Eh hehehe eheh ehehe takde, saya saje je ni.. :"> *while slowly gets away from them, putting both hands in the air*




Babi cuak sial.

Then aku pon kembali ke meja kitorang. Ingat bahan ketawa malam tu akan abes camtu jela. Tapi..

Here comes Pam. Member aku jugak, die dari mana tah datang lambat sket. Pam ni otak lagi gile sikit. Macam gampang. Tapi gile-gile die pon, jadi treasurer reunion baiii. LOL

So bile die sampai, he had no idea what's going on around himself. So we just gave him the little note with an unknown number in it.



TE' [Member] : Weh, pam nah call nombor ni sekarang.
PAM : *Without any doubt* Kay.



And die bawak kua phone die, trus dail sial. LOLOL. And of course that Sha picked up the phone. Sambil-sambil Pam sorok-sorok sikit yang die tengah cakap, Atok letak phone kat telinga, to show that konon-konon die yang tengah call. Babi lawak sial. Those act were actually awesome, everyone gave commitment in it, and those Bapoks and Sha himself actually bought it, for real. LOL Mission One berjaya! :D

Tapi tak habes lagi!

And then we went back to our hostel. Time tu dah nak pukul 1, and we're fucking exhausted but extremely enjoyed ourselves with everything that's worth laughing about.

Tengah-tengah lepak sembang-sembang tu, tiba-tiba phone Pam berbunyi. Ade message.

Unknown number. Sebab Pam of course la tak save. It's from Sha. AWWW :) Die bagi message sial. Abes ah Pam.

Jadi la bahan ketawa lagi. LOL Pam and Te' turned shift just to reply all his messages wakaka.

When we arrived at this exact moment, I dunno about Sha, whether he just can't get Atok's imaginery body, the fuck out of his head, or he just can't bear with all the ejaculation he's gonna have tonight, with Atok. LOL.


Ketika menikmati bahan lawak ini..



Yes, ladies and gentlemen, all for the LULz, I present you the phone log that we had with Sha. He actually called us, and we panicked for a moment, dok pikir sapa yang berani nak cakap HAHA.

Last-last Pokok beranikan diri, menyamar sebagai Atok, and answered the phone.

Aku lambat sket record conversation dorang ni. So before aku tekan button record kat phone aku ni, let me explain what Pokok were talking with Sha about.

Pokok mencipta situasi yang sebenarnya dia/Atok adalah anak kepada Pak Jaga kat Sekolah Tunas Bakti. Sekolah Tunas Bakti ni buat pengetahuan korang sekolah tu betol-betol sekolah sebelah sekolah kitorang, sekolah budak-budak bermasalah.

And Pokok states that he's sleeping over there for the weekend with his Dad and his friends around. So, kalau dah cakap anak Pak Jaga sekolah budak jahat tu, kena sangat la, dekat pon dekat, imej sebagai Pak Jaga yang fierce pon ade. LOL

So, ni jela yang mampu aku record HAHA. And imagine this being recorded on a speakerphone being crowded by around 15 of us motherfuckers dok tahan-tahan gelak bagai nak gila.

Enjoy!







Haha adoi laaa. Those moments, guys, nak tahan gelak ramai-ramai tu beb. Susah bodooooo. Gile babi sekor2 bagi komitmen sial. Ramai kot WAKAKA.

Tapi sebab ending conversation dengan Pokok tu tergantung, beberapa minit kemudian, he called again. Sigh. This time, Pokok dah tak sanggup dah nak bercakap, die tak tahan katanya. Jadi siapa nak cakap ni doww..

So, I took this chance, to improve my communication skills. :"> And as I picked up that very phone, I told myself to bring out the best out of this shit. And I did tried my best. Lama gile sial aku bercakap dengan die. Sampai deep down aku dah rasa bosan sebenarnya. LOL

Tapi, nampak obvious la dow kalau aku cakap, sbelum ni tadi Pokok cakap gaya lain, sekali aku cakap mesti gaya lain dow.

Ah pegi mampos. Tibai je wakaka.







Ending tergantung lagi dowww. Camne ni, kalau die call lagi? We really had enough LULZ for today, seriously, dah penat sial, dok gelak cam gampang. Nak dekat kol 2 pagi. Nak sahur lagi. Haih.

So we created a plan. We wrote a situation where actually Atok gave an effort to go out meeting Sha, but unfortunately, Atok's dad [iaitu seorang Pak Jaga ganas] won't let him out, considering who's he meeting is obviously unknown.

And we even asked Sebui, who's voice is just like an old scary man, to act as the Father, just in case Sha called again.

And actually, he did, guys, called again. LOL, bertuah ko Sebui, dapat beraksi jugak. Sumpah sore ko macam sial.






Time ending Sebui, macam gampang dow jadi bahan ketawa wakaka. He seems like nakkkk lagi bercakap dengan Sha tu, even though he's actually Atok's dad in this situation. And we all bahan Sebui kata die sangap Bapok punya dick sial haha. I dunno guys, to me and my friends, this is superbly funny. You don't think it's funny? :"> No?

Then GTFO ehehe hehe heeheheh eheheheh.

Sigh, and it all ended just like that. We keep talking about this shit till then. As it was the greatest memory for our reunion. :D And Pam even managed to find Sha's facebook account. And hell no, I ain't sharing the link with you numbnuts. Malas ulang sejarah sial.

Aku just kesian kat Pam je, sebab yang jadi mangsa phone nye die HAHA, because even until now, he keeps bothering him, asking about how's he's doing, when inside his head, he has no idea even the slightest bit that all those conversation that we had were not from Atok, at all. HAW HAW HAW

So itu la perkara Setan yang aku buat cuti ni. Takde teruk sangat kot kan?



P/s : If you're still wondering how he looks like, go to the top of this entry :)

Credit to Pam, Sebui, Pokok, Te, Atok, and everyone who tried their best to shut the fuck up while the conversation was being recorded LOL

37 comments:

lufkin said...

Cam sial lawak kat sini dah tahan gelak dah, Demmit tmpt kerja block jewtube, ada adengan phonesex ke zed?

zedRadzai said...

@lufkin
LOL kitorang usaha gila nak dapatkan phone sex dow. tapi apa2hal dapat kesempatan internet tak block jewtube ko tengok ah dulu wakaka

Ween said...

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

this.

is.

some.

shit!

hahaha hilang tensi dah. terima kasih!

zedRadzai said...

@ween
haha your very welcome!

sapek said...

sumpah lawak
hahaha

zedRadzai said...

@sapek
yaaa bratha!

EmaRadzai said...

what the efff la zaid.
just made my day dear bro.
lawak weh, nak-gelak-giler2-tapi-taboley-takut-kantoi, sangat selalu mengalami situasi yang sama.
hahahaha


n btw, i miss u like crazy (okay. sgt tipu, tade la sampai crazy sangat)

EmaRadzai said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
zedRadzai said...

@EmaRadzai
LOL miss you too sis! ritu zed baru teringat, tak sempat dow salam atun b4 naik flight, sedih doww :(

jangan gtau mak abah. :">

pam said...

semalam sha text lagi zed....

zedRadzai said...

@pam
LOLOLOLOL I'm so sorry to hear that, Pam :(

Aku bukan Juliet. said...

hahaha..xD...awesome dude...made my day...xDDD.

Cik Agogo said...

haaa... gileee lahhh...

dah la suara bapok tu manja nak mamposss...

ko punye conversation paling epic la zed...

thumbs up...

kah kah kah...

paling best skali... ade jugak ye guy yg bapak dia protective gila2 kan...

hahaha...

zedRadzai said...

@aku bukan juliet
yeaaa bratha nice to hear that

@cik agogo
haha see? itu yang jadi lawak. sume script direka spontan, sesuka hati je LOL

kurojishi Rio said...

hahaha dem aa zed.geli sial denga suare bapok tuh..ko pon geli gak.blojob je keje.haha bunyi sangap plak tuh~~

sempadan nagoya gifu said...

ini..ini..ini..FUCK !!! palancau lahanau lawak sial..wakakaka !
kalo aku amek je Blowjob tuh..

zedRadzai said...

@kurojishi rio
hahahaha tu ar member2 aku bhn sore aku dgn sore bapok mana satu bapok dh xdpt bezakan LOL

@sempadan nagoya gifu
ini hurm, rempit? kah3 koman2 dpt blowjob sdap jgk sket kan LOL

Cik Buya said...

sakit perut aku tahan gelakk LOLLL

zedRadzai said...

@cik Buya
mengapa perlu tahan? KAH KAH KAH lepas kan aja AHA HAHA HAHAHHA HAHA

Hasbul Ikhwan said...

weih..mana jumpa pic atok tue??
macam kwan sha plak aku tgok..
haha...

aku dgr2 balik...
gila sore macam harem fuck...
ganas sgt la bapak atok tue smpai sha ltak phone..
should be slow down sket..
huhu...
sdey bis camtue jerk...
sha kedekut kedit tapi sangap..
budus sha!

mr Chat said...

Sebui sangap kote. HAHA! Terbaik ah korang. Macam gampang. Geli bodoh dengar suara ni. Sumpah suara paling geli dalam dunia

atok said...

ni mangse keadaan dtg.pundek zaid,tp tetap lawak.hahahahhaa

zedRadzai said...

@sebui
wakaka aku main tibai je pic die kat fb tu. tu a siyes dow sumpah sore ko cam sial dow. menakutkan LOL

@chatni
hahahahahhahahahahhaha awwww

@atok
lek atok mangsa keadaan ang kejap je, pam tu la smpai la ni dok dpt msg lagi LOL

pam said...

sumpah celaka. tapi ilek. boleh buat modal gelak next reunion. nanti kita lepak maple tu lagi. tgk sape kene ngorat lak. kalo atok jugak. memang celaka

me3rad said...

mmg cam haram toL..nice on zaid !!

zedRadzai said...

@pam
wakkakaakak jangan dow. k la next time moga2 ang plak yang kena ngorat, bru mantap bai bluerghahhahaha

@meerad
yeaa all for the LULz

basiqRadzai said...

woi aritu sex video dalam iphone hang si atun tengokk dowwww wadafakkk bodohhh la wey kaver kaver la sket

zedRadzai said...

@basiqradzai
terbaikkk iniii public WAKAKA damn ah dh dpt bajet dh ritu mana tau duh die nk buka app tu oh shittt jgn die ade curiosity mendalam dh la argh

wahana3115803 said...

HAHA...zaid2~

zedRadzai said...

ha tengok. :">>>>>>>>>

pam said...

never leave your penis hanging around in public. it'll make you get bad impression

hafiz said...

damn it..!!!
ak tak tau psl bnda ni...ptut arr korang asyik sbut psl sha..!!

seyes lawak doe...sore ang zaid perrgggghhhh....!!!*fuck*-ngada2-smbil goda si sha-sweet-

zedRadzai said...

@pam
kah2 xpe kite bia je dlu =))

@hafz
lol tu ah sal. sebulan lebih aku thn dr tulis entry ni kah3

Hasbul Ikhwan said...

apasal lak aku sangap kote??
naharey..
aku seorang bapak y protective kot..
jadah bg anak pi jpa bapok..
aku sggup bkorban demi anak2..
:-)

zedRadzai said...

@sebui
tu dia bapak dia lolol

s h a f i q h a s h i m _____ said...

wakakaka. lawak sial. :P
boleh pulak korang layan pondan ni.
harap2 pondan nie tak baca blog ko. hehehe

misa said...

haha. bangang je. ah, kuar air mate duk ktawe mase ckp ngan pokok tu. n suare sebui tu mmg mcm sore bapak orang. hahaha. cool story bro