Childhood #2 - Fitrah Manusia



Have you ever ate a lemon or anything yang masam gila babi and had an reaction like this cute lil' son of a bitch?




God, that kid so damn motherfucking cute! I literally blow my head off into candies watching this .gif image.


********



When I was a kid, and when I was at the first moment of understanding the word fitrah, or shall we say, natural in English, I have quite some questions I asked to my mum but she refused to answer every single of it instead of talking me out of it by promising..


"Nanti kamu besar kamu paham la ye.."


Yes, an innocent child also has its own imagination, you guys. And me being the kid back then, I have my own stories to tell. About everything that connects a women and a guy into this particular activity which the grown ups call "SEX".

And I remembered back then when I had my first erection. Browsing the catalog and focusing into the lingerie section [pastu kantoi dengan abah pastu kena rotan kaw-kaw], yes. Since then I actually had my first sexual imagination.

God, and thinking about it now, how funny it was, indeed. I get easily turned on every night before going to bed just by imagining myself getting hurt or whatever and lay there with these 3-4 hot ladies sitting beside me getting all like..


"Awww, look at this poor hurt child."


Yeah, just by imagining that shit made my penis grew larger. Except for the fact that it was indeed, not that big, at that time back then. :">

Those were the days I was a kid. Now? I fap to every material before going to bed. =))



*******


And there was Islamic lessons, too. And the ustaz made it clear that girls and boys shouldn't be holding hands together. Because at some point, it'd bring evil thoughts from Satan. And that made me thinking.

Why?

Why does it make us sexually aroused? Because of fitrah manusia? Yes, that seems plausible.

But being a kid, with the mind of an innocent soul, I think of it like holding hands with my sister. Heck, I didn't erection at all, even until now. LOL

So at that time, my mind kept wondering, why? Why do we actually get turned on by something like this? Is it because we're not used to it? That actually is a great answer, though, for me.

Imagine, being born in a whole new world unlike our world itself, we have pretty much everyone naked in the streets and all. Everyday, growing up, going to school, going to work, watching some hot naked chick putting on her shoe from behind, or some MILF jogging around the park with her iPod on hanging on her necks between her tits and her boobs bouncing around for every step of her jog..

At the end of the day, wouldn't it be all like..





Sikit pon tak heran. Langsung.


Because at that world, we're already used to it. And we ain't giving shit. At all. Screw porn, they won't get through that world anyhow. All the pornstars would be like pretty much everything you see begging around for money in Masjid Jamek LRT Station. Because nobody's buying shit.

And there will be no more kes maksiat zina, or anything like that. And heck, no more buang-buang bayi also.

Of course, life in that fantasy world would be freaking boring compared to this actual world that we're living in, yes, no porn at all, seriously?

But, who knows, everyone hopes for the world to be a better place. At least before 2012.


P/s : I'm thinking of writing some bullshit, but nahh.

Brix #10 - Pre-requisite of Pooping

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Hello, kids. Today I'm going to write about shit. As usual.

You see, back then when I was a kid, I'm used to shit in eastern-style toilets where you have to squat on the magical bowl where your poop will suddenly disappear with beautiful waterfalls from the tank. Flushed, I mean.


Ther actually a hose in there. But we'll get to that later.




And when I was in the age 7-9, my dad brought all of us to England to further his studies. Well, at first, I was still a child back then, and all I can see in the toilets is newly designed toilet bowls where sitting, instead of squatting would be a new adventure for your poop trip.


Aku suke warna merah. It turns me on.



But because I was a child, and my body was kinda small to sit on that toilet, I hate it, you know why? It once happened to me that I accidentally slipped into the toilet and had my own shit all over my buttocks when I've already finished shitting. FFFUUUUUU

So to make sure that that thing never happen again, I'm back with the same old style, with the new toilet bowl. Well, you know..



And don't act like I'm the only one doing this shit. Korang pon penah jugak.



And sometimes it does get messy. Because with your bare foot on the bowl, it's still slippery, though. I once fell from the toilet bowl and while struggling to get balanced on my feet, I fell even harder and hit my head hard on the bath tub next to it. It hurts so fucking bad. But hey, I thought getting hurt that way is better than getting poo all over your buttocks.

But too bad, the next day, I had benjol-benjol on my head but I was too shy to admit it to my parents, so I figured out, bagi alasan....


"Terhantuk dengan kawan time main rounders kat sekolah."




Would be cooler instead of



"Terjatuh time berak semalam.. Alaaaa tengok tu jangan laaa gelakkk huwaaaa.. :'("



So, yes, time kecik-kecik dulu memang aku berak camni every fucking time kat sana. Quite embarrassing to admit that. But fuck it, I ain't giving shit.

And then time balik Malaysia, finally I get to return to my usual pooping journey where I don't have to sit nor squat on a fucking western-style bowl toilet, but I'm back with my sweet loving eastern-style toilet bowl. Fukken love ya, mate!

So, while enjoying my childhood shitting on jamban nenggong, I do appreciate every moment of it and dreaming of shitting massive shits everyday with the perfect mood and nice condition of a toilet.

But day by day, when I already hit my puberty and no longer have the body of a kid, I have no other choices than to actually sit on a western-style toilet bowl. 'Cause, once in a while, we do shit in public toilets and in hotels and such right? So I finally learned both ways on how to shit while sitting and squatting on both western and eastern toilet bowl. Profit!

And there was this day back in 2004 when I opened up my email and received one interesting article about how dangerous it is to squat on a western-style toilet bowl. Do you want me to upload the bloody picture in here? Go Google it on your own. So since then, I swore to myself and my soul, that I will never ever berak menenggong kat jamban western.

And here comes Japan, the land of a new way to shit in the toilet. Because I've already said this before. In here, most of the toilets use modernized technology toilet bowls just for the maximum satisfying feeling while shitting. 'Cause you know why? On the toilet bowl, there actually have buttons on it to control the firing blaze of hot water right up to your fucking assholes to shoot and wash all the left-overs after shitting.


You can see the buttons next to the toilet bowl.


Here's a better close-up.



Seriously, to enjoy the feeling of technology washing your ass up? Guys, it does seem good at the first place, but in the end, shitting would make you realize that it is actually an adventure. There's no fucking adventure letting some modern toilet bowls shooting your asses to wash 'em, while you're just sitting there doing fucking nothing!

You know what true adventure of shitting is? Here we have both efforts and maximum satisfaction, too!

So tell me, what's certainly the best condition for a normal person like you to shit in Malaysian's toilet?

Thanks to Pam for bringing this up, I will gladly enough to elaborate every point of the perfect pre-requisite of pooping.



1] Paip kena ade hose


This is definitely a must for every time shitting on a toilet. Tak nak cebok, taknak air dalam tub. Nak air direct dari paip. Without a hose, you could never walk out from a toilet smiling, seriously.



2] Water running mesti leh pancut at least 45cm.

What could possibly be the worst case scenario shitting on a toilet having a hose next to you, but when you open up the running water, air kuar dari paip macam air mazi? Nightmare sial. Air ada, tapi kua macam tu, arghhhhhh hilang tujuan hidup! Air kena pancut laju, for the maximum erotic feeling when the ejaculated water touches your asshole. The faster, the better.



3] Rokok penambah selera.

While having your preferably alone moments, a cigarette or two would definitely be a bonus for some smokers like me. It's like when you're squatting long enough in the moment, there's nothing to do instead of daydreaming about your fucked-up life. Why do we have to do that and feel bad when we can actually enjoy the moment by adding some cigarettes on the list?

Bagi yang bukan smoker, bolehlah cari Majalah Remaja atau Mangga to have hard-ons while pooping. Nice!


4] Cheerful environment.


Lampu kena ada, suasana kena terang. And the most important thing is, bau and kebersihan sebelum parking nak berak tu kena normal. Preferably wangi dan tiada kotoran-kotoran tanah dari tapak kasut bercampur air di lantai toilet. So this is the time to work on it! You have no other choice to clean up your toilet everytime after using it!


5] Time constraint.


You could never ever get satisfied shitting while waiting for your final paper. Memang takleh berak nikmat kalau lagi 10 minit nak masuk dewan peperiksaan. And things will get worst in the future if you have to shit while you're actually in the middle of your exam. Like in my paper in SPM, aku tak tahan nak berak time paper Teknologi Kejuruteraan and there you have it, a C6! [padahal ayat cover memang aku bodoh pon subjek tu]

So you have no choice than holding it up and trust me, you can thank me after those tahan-tahan tu. Sebab moment tu lah yang terbaik sekali.

*******


And that is all, for now. Feel free to add some points on your own list. Because, what's better than having moments like this to be spent with the most satisfying conditions? It's like making the best out of a relationship. Because why, personally to me, nikmat kedua tersedap di dunia ini selepas seks adalah berak. So kite patut bersyukur.

And same goes to peeing! :D

P/s : Buat keje gile skali-skala.

Credit to Pam for the idea.

Serious Thoughts #4 - Sarcasm Rules

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TL;DR type of entry. Quite a serious one to think about our own race.



In this stupid blogging world where people fantasize about being in their imaginary land which the writers would be imagining themselves being the Leader of a cult which were worshipped by stupid fags and readers like you by convincing you bitches on how awesome they could be by words in their blog and all bullshits in it, [woah that was long] there's only two type of blog writers who are using and making the best out of only one element in their writings - sarcasm.

And diary writers are so out of the list.

You see, I love sarcasm. And the internet taught me that sarcasm has no limit. So I should make fun of anything very very sensitive to the nature of religious nor racist men like you mafackas. But I won't. Maybe I will. But I won't. I dunno LOL

By using the sarcastic element of a point, we could bring tonnes of butthurts out there that are so stupid for not realizing that actually we are being sarcastic and all we intended to was to make them suffer and hurt from all of our writings. But like I said, there are two types of blogwriters who intended to do so.

One of them is the kind who likes to do sarcastic in a really bad way, but it's just not themselves. You see, guys, life on the internet and in real life would be a big difference for some of us blog writers. Like me, I once wrote a blog post making fun of hukum agama which you moralfags are so aware of, yeah, I ate that pork and enjoyed every moment of it with my beloved friends.

But the truth is, I didn't really do it and all I wanted was to see my fellow readers get mad at me, just for social experimenting. And everything went exactly as planned.

And one thing more to this is, this particular type blog-writer which I preferably put myself into is one type of a person who actually don't give a single fuck about everything. We just hate everything besides us, we hate our own race for being so typically stupid and get so easily paranoid and cepat melatah, well you know our race. But geez, deep down I hate bashing my own race to be honest. Nuff said.

But we still don't give a shit. We don't believe in anything. We're using the term trolling just the way it used to be. We troll people and ain't giving shit. We're just neutral, we judge everything from beneath, and make decisions on how to react with some kind of current issues, and that depends on how people react with those issues at first, and then we strike our owns. And just to make fun of it, we might react with such different reaction just to troll you guys. Cause that's what we do. In some issues.

And I'd be gladly happy to be one of these assholes. Cause for me, we're doing it the right way on using the term sarcasm.

But!

The other part of a blog writer whom also uses sarcasm as his/her main element of writing is the one who actually stands up for what he/she believes in, [except for the fact that that matter they believe in is full of crap and bashing people all around] and the worst part of it is, these stupid sons of bitches are the ones who actually write pretty mind-blowing, butthurting, assraping, piece of crap which even I, would actually give a shit about it. But by the means of giving shit is, I actually get disgusted by every crap they wrote.

Because why? Now let's move on to the next step for further understanding.


The Malay Chronicle of 20th Century.

The Malays zaman dulu-dulu as we know it is one helluva God damn sopan santun punya budi pekerti punya manusia. And we never talk personal things with each other in public. Because it's in our nature that we tend to cepat sangat melatah and get overreacted with things so stupid, when you're realized you're actually that stupid, you'd be dumping your fucking brains off the toilet and flushs it over and over again. So we tend to keep things as a secret.

But actually, that was a matter of fact, in the past, where there would be no such things as technology as we speak of it right now.

Nowadays, with the usage of media, telephones, camera, televisions, computer, and Human's greatest creation, the Internet, these stuff would and already have turned our race slowly become changing, from extremely defending and protecting 'aib keluarga dan bangsa into stupid cunts who are so busy doing some charity work to raise the controversial matter in their neighborhood.

And one thing for sure, we the Malays back then, are so proud of our ketatasusilaan dan berbudi bahasa, until we forgot what it's like to actually confront something when we actually have to. We tend to use some other choices on confronting our "enemies", which at the same time, the acne of evil jealousy spreading slowly in our hearts and there it goes to their childs' hearts - you and me :)

And what was the solution made by our great great great granddads and grandmoms to overcome that problem of not having the balls to confront something?

We use kata-kata kiasan.

Yeah, I fucking hate Malay's punya kata-kata kiasan. Cuba balik kampung time raya and they'd be no single day without words yang tajam seumpama bilah pedang yang berkilau. Dan sume kata-kata kiasan perli tak hengat dunia tu sume datang dari siapa? Keluarga sendiri jugak.

Mak-mak sedara dan sepupu-sepapat.

C'mon, admit it, you guys. Kalau takde kat kampung pon, might as well you get those words from your own beloved parents at home. Sucks to be you! =))

Okay back to my point, enough of this Malay Chronicle 20th Century bullshit.

And from those evolutions of our race, and with the mixture of the technology of media nowadays, the Malays as we see it right now, turn out to be worst than ever. See it yourself, do the observation, not only to others, even to yourselves.

We're always pretending to be the awesomest moralfag ever for reacting so religiously on some point of view, like for instance the comolot youtube video and other .3gp videos. But as a matter of fact, why the fuck are we viewing it at the first place? You don't like it, you might as well don't look at it at all.

But not to worry, I maybe seem ungrateful to being born as a Malay, but deep down, I am proud of who I am. And I would never bash my own race as hard as I could, because turns out, those ayat-ayat


"Camne la nak maju kalau Melayu tak tolong Melayu, dok maki-maki bangsa sendiri?"


is actually true. Who are we to abandon our own beloved race? But at this moment that statement seems to be quite racist for a country like Malaysia. So I'd rather change it into


"Camne la nak maju kalau MALAYSIANS tak tolong MALAYSIANS, pastu dok maki-maki NEGARA sendiri?"


So let's move on the next next part. The second type of bloggers which I never managed to finish explaining.

Now these dickheads are the ones who have already evolutionalized from the stupid type of Malay people which I've already explained just now. Not even the slightest bit of guilty were felt when writing blog posts which seems to be bashing all people of their own race and their own land and heck, their own fucking religious. Yeah, that "fucking" word I put before "religious" kinda seemed awful, but I'm just gonna leave it instead.

Every word seemed to be kata-kata kiasan. Kata-kata halus. And people like me, honestly, I hate being around with all that "Kata-Kata Kiasan Sindiran Halus Malay Style".

What I love sarcasm is all about the internet. Not about how our own race is making-fun-but-in-a-serious-way of its own race by making the only and only one action that could probably be its own sacred weapon, which is at this point of referring - "Kata-Kata Kiasan Sindiran Halus Malay Style"

Stop bashing our own race. Our own religion. Our own country. Really. Instead you could give a hand. Take some action. Our country really needs us.

[Oh babi pedihnya tulis ayat ni, aku sendiri pon tak berapa nak membantu oh shit]


Off the record, aku pernah je kutuk-kutuk, but it all came out without even the slightest bit of anger. As for me, I made it just for fun, and it's not even the thing I'd stand up to. And you might say that is pure bullshit, but in my defense, you need to know that I am not a guy of an extremist. I like to keep it steady, not so tough, and not so easy.

Try comparing it with this blog post. Even you'll get it that sarcasm is all around, but yeap, you'd be fucking your own butt in no time. I actually don't give a fuck about his actual point, but I accidentally gave a fuck at how he tries to pass on that very message to his readers. And try giving a shot to read other posts. You'll get nothing but pure sarcasm, and personally to me, seemed to be stupid. Because this is pure Malay style punya sindiran halus Rogue Level 80 Critical Hit 8000++ Back Stab mati terus! And I hate that so fucking much.

Sarcasm Melayu are so not gonna win sarcasm internet. Even peeps at 4chan have a heart yo! LOL

Geez.



P/s : Jikken Repootooooo.

Sexist #10 - Masalah Ketinggian

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You know why I hate getting a shower in a bath tub?



Yeah, happened to me once before. When I was little. God Dammit. Seb bek tak cedera apa-apa.

Okay.


*****


Female humans appear to be no different from any other species of animal when it comes to mate selection. Size - in this case, height - counts.

That women prefer taller men than her is nothing new. Short guys, sadly, unless they're rich, powerful or famous, [because those three elements are the only things that would drive a chick go crazy instead of our hawtness.] have come by this knowledge the hard way. Yes, we do. And women all over the world openly profess desires for height in personal ads.




And the question is why? I came across to think that the world is genuinely unfair to short guys like me. It kinda sucked though, when we meet new people, like this instance, a friend of mine introduced me to a girl of his friend, and beyond all his good and nice descriptions about that very girl, there's always a "but" in everything. And the "but" this time was



"Tapi die macam lagi tinggi la dari hang.. Hurm, 160++cm something?"



Yeah, thx dude for making me writing this stuff.

But for your information, I am a short guy. A fat-ass one, too. Pastu badan aku lebar and this lebar-ness makes me look even shorter than ever. Fuck this shit!

Everytime I'm with a taller girl, I'll fall straightly into, hurm how do I put this delicately.. Yes, the Friend Zone. And no boys would like it that effing zone! [Thanks Shakaff, pakai ayat ang jap]





My height is only 161cm and I'm gonna be in that height for the rest of my life. Sapa suruh tak nak minum susu time kecik-kecik? Ptuih!

Girls like taller men, that's one fact that scares the crap out of me. And they have their own reasons for that what it makes to turn them on. Reasons that seems plausible but geez, have a heart, will ya? It hurts my feeling and lower my self esteem to know that taller men seems protective for them and they'd love that. The taller the better. Can't short men protect you bitches, too? No? :(





As you can see, love is overrated in this matter. There's nothing to compare when it's love. But that's just the way it is right now in this world. We have to live it, even though it's unfair to begin with.

You know like in sex afterwards, when their exhausted, girls like to baring-baring on our chest and play with our hairchest for a while. Pastu time comolot like these two doing in public..





Don't it look romantic to know that this couple is just cute? And the perfect height of them is what makes them look even more cuter. Just like in the movies. You'll never see a new version of Twilight starring a new Edward Cullen with the height of 5 foot 4 inches banging Bella Swan from behind.



"Die pilih KLCC doh.."




Haha, I personally think that this video is cute for them to be arguing in this stupid way and end up kissing each other. Romance is in the air.

What I hate about this video is the friends of his who are too fucking "awesome" to be making fun of them by recording their personal moments and uploading it on youtube.

And yeah, the couple is quite stupid, too, for kissing in public in Malaysia. Tak peka dengan environment masyarakat Malaysia yang gila babi anti dengan perkara sebegini.

Don't hate love. Hate the insensitivity in that video. By this insensitivity I mean the stupid heroic friends.


*******



What the fuck am I writing? Back to topic!

So why would these chicks would preferably go for taller guys than them? I have my own opinion, but turns out it's just the same like Shakaff's. So no need to be writing a new one.

"Well, first thing first, they don't actually like tall guys, they're just looking for a taller man than them. If she's 1 foot 2 inches tall like a husky, she'll settle for a 1 foot 3 inches dawg in no time.

Here goes,

1. Taller dawgs to look like a perfect couple in front of homies.

2. It's a fucking trend. ["Wow tinggi la laki u tu Shida. Hawt!*gaya Scha* I nak laki tinggi macam laki you jugak!]

3. Someone to look up to. [Like a dog looking up to their master]

4. To feel safe.

5. When they look up, dawgs will instantly get a hard on by gazing on those eyes. [Kalau laki pendek, usya dagu, profit? Phail.]

6. By some reason, it's just a natural feeling.

7. Time kissing kaki terangkat, romantic sial.

8. So their dawgs can look down onto their cleavage. [Skill mengelak lelaki usya Siham lain]




Ada! Don't deny it, girls."


****

Thanks Shakaff.

So the solution?

The key to overcome this suck-the-fuck feeling is to have confidence in yourself. [What the fuck is suck-the-fuck?] Be more sweet of yourselves, as women love sweet loving men, and be hypocrite, because that's just not ourselves. LOL!

I kid, guys. We know when it comes to loving, being sweet just happens by itself. It's natural, just like the way you bitches like taller man. Fuck you.

And if you just gonna give a go on taller girls than you, I'd say,



"What the fuck are you waiting for?"



Because that's what people in Forever Alone United will do. We support each other, every fucking single time.. Thanks Kimon.

The world doesn't need taller men. You don't have to be like Beng with his 180++cm tall skeleton. LOL But still, have some confidence in yourselves!

Girls like taller men. Deal with it, or go have fun in Disneyland. Here's a free ticket.





P/s : Looking forward to this.


Credits to Shakaff. And Pam for making me write this entry.

What I Hate About Facebook #9 - Forever Alone

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They said I could write anything in a blog, so here goes.





It sucked being single. Really. When you're preferably better at being in a couple. Everyday seems meaningless when you open your eyes every morning being disappointed with the very special dream you had last night about your ex.

Yeah, I can't seem to forget her. God damn it.

But hey, try putting yourself in my shoe. Being here alone in Japan, when everyone of your race is about thousand miles away in Malaysia. So you're lonely, and all you have is a laptop and a high speed internet connection.







Honestly, what would you do?

Now, this may seems gay, but me and my lonely friends here have this hobby of ours. Yeap, we had this thing called "Clicking "Add As Friend" at Random Chick's profile on Facebook".

Yeap, ain't that sucked? Of all people in here we still tend to look over the Malay chicks we have back in Malaysia. Because why?


"Alahhh, aku saja-saja je main-main add die ni. Just for fun je, nak cover lonely teman berbual je, takde ape-ape ah!"


"LOL babi ape men add awek kat Facebook, macam boleh je dapat."



Yeah, we all know those facts. But we kept one thing in mind, that we are still the Malay dudes who are super lonely and tend to do stupid no-benefit things such as this shit. Adding chicks but still keeping it on the right side, our own race. Because "Siapa bilang gadis Melayu tak menawan?" right? That's a compliment to you camwhores.

And even though we'd like to say,


"Saja-saja je ni.."



Well actually, deep down inside we hoped for something special. You know what I mean right.



"Everybody's looking for that something,
One thing that makes it all complete,
You find it in the strangest places,
Places you never knew it could be.."



Flying Without Wings



And when at worst times, we also tend to be the worst stalker ever.

But, nope, don't get me wrong. We don't stalk you chicks. We never do that. We're just merely



"Wow, comel dia ni!"

*Klik "Add As Friend"*



"FUUU YEA"



And forget all about it the next day. Until whether you chicks approve our friend request or not.

And if you didn't approved, we ain't giving shit. It's Facebook, you can add pretty much everyone you want and you can also approve or reject pretty much every friend requests that you've got. Lucky for me, I rejected this certain person's friend request just now because I just don't feel comfortable having that person in my friend list. What do you expect in return for entering a messed-up dude's room without notice? Being total clean like I even have a wife? Well, I'm happy fer ya. But I am a messy guy right now. /depressed mood

Let's get back to my point.

And if you approved our request, let's get back to how far the timeline is from the minute we clicked that button to add you as our friend on Facebook and the moment you actually approved our request. There's only two possibilities, whether we remembered you or not, because it always happened to me, time add seronok sakan, pastu lupe. Like



"When in the hell did I add this bitch?"



Kalau ingat tu bertuah la. Lenkali approve awal-awal. LOL

Look, I know I'm being a total loser right now, but this is just me. Adding random persons on Facebook, well, that would probably be the lamest way to making out with girls. It is. I know.

But I just hate it. I want that thing so much, and it sucked that you have to fix your broken heart first. Can't human beings just know each other for the first time and for the love of God, they immediately fall in love with each other and forget everything in the past? That would be so fucking easy.

But I'm still gonna admit it, adding those persons, well, it was kinda fun though. No matter you'll approve or not. That's not the point. You see these sad sons of bitches trying to have fun with each other, while deep down inside they're sad and lonely but still willing to make effort to find that something that everyone wants so fucking bad? Even with the stupidest way? LOL


Look at me. I'm super cute. Please gimme a chance! :3



I'm just saying. I hate it that I'm like this. I'm not even close to be focusing on what I'm supposed to be focusing right now, and one thing that I'm still being able to think about is being in a couple? Geez. Sounded desperate enough for an almost-12months-after-getting-dumped-by-his-girlfriend-but-still-can't-manage-to-fucking-move-on guy.

Well, let's just say, having that particular something would bring great effects on you somehow. Who knows, someday someone would actually changes you into being a better person? It does sounded desperate, but this is how I feel, no, everyone of us here feel, dontcha fucking lie to me, you fucking dickheads.

...

What the fuck am I writing right now? Is this an emo entry. OH LAWD.

Nahh, you know what's the suckiest thing about Facebook right now that I fucking hate?

Bile belom add,


"Wow muke comel! Nice, nak kenal la die ni!"




Bile dah approve.



"Is in a relationship with
Abdul Ghani"






And the process would repeat itself for about many times as it goes until you finally give up and decides to take a break somehow. And the uglier the boyfriend's face would look like, the more RRRRAAAGGEEEE it gets.

Until at some point, you feel like..





ForeverAlone.jpg



P/s : Suddenly I got a feeling that we're gonna back together. Please stop.

What I Hate About Japan #9 - Squeakkkk!




'Sup guys..






First of all, it took me a while just to put a new image in this blog's header. Geez, I really sucked in the HTML section. It drives me crazy! GAH!

And I was hoping for some compliments, please, do compliment me guys, I worked hard on this. :"> Nahh, just kidding.

Well, let's get back to topic. So another What-I-Hate-About-Japan series ey? What is this all about this time?

Okay, for starters, before I came here, and when I first being introduced to anime and Japanese AV and stuff, I really like it so very much. I mean, look at their voices, especially the cute little girls. Those squeaky little voice, sounded very manja with their sengau-sengau and all, God! It's just, at those time I was really into those animes. And it really turned me on everytime hearing them, so I figured out this maybe worth a shot to take. No, several shots to take.

Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.







And geez, back then when I watch their porns, I would pretty much savor every breath and every moment of it. Those moans, sigh, those moans, guys, are unbeatable. I would pretty much rather watch Japanese porn all day than fantasizing about having sex with a girl of my own race. /eksagerasi

And at those times I find this video which was made by a Japanese so-called cute girl, well, I find it kinda cute.









Sort of.

I mean, she's really adorable, man, and the way she talks, DAYYYUUUMMM, is hilarious plus super cute all together in one element of an adjective. =)

Hurm, yea... I know it's weird, ain't it?


"NYOKI NYOKI NYOKI Pala butuh dia."



I know, I knowww, guys. It's good that those feelings I had were not for long. Guess I was quite a weirdo back then.

You see, since I actually came here, and when I truly used to the way these Japanese girl talks, it's just scares the crap out of me. It's just not fukken normal, for crap's sake! And I have no idea at all, why the hell would I thought these voices would sounded cute back then?

And then, day by day, I started feeling disgusted by it. Meluat. Menyampah. And today, I am glad to announce that I am no longer and will never watch anime with cute little Japanese girls in it and I am no longer watching its porn, too. :">







Because why, I remembered when I was in my first year of college, which was last year, I came across to be socializing with them Japanese in class. You know, those lectures where we were divided into groups and discuss about topics given. Yeah, I had to. And the girls, I dunno, when they're happy and a bit close to over-reacting, they sounded more weird.

It's like you're squeezing their head and the voices which come out of their throat sounded more squeaked and kecik. Plus the sengau-ness. What's "sengau" in english? I don't fukken know.

What I know is, the sengau-ness of their voice is what makes it sounded more creepy, unnatural, awful, horrific, ominous, strange, uncanny, spooky, inscrutable and pretty much everything you get when you googled "Weird+Thesaurus".

And when I get used to it, I was disappointed with myself. Ape yang comelnye WTF? And everytime after class I would go back home feeling unwell, I feel sick all the time, really. No, that was a joke.

Too bad to know that those matters are really in their nature, I mean, the girls over here. And the best part is, I have no problem at all with the boys' voice. They sounded cool to me. You see how big the difference between the male and the female over here?

I mean, I like manja-manja girls. When it comes to our race, perempuan yang manja secara natural ni memang betol-betol taste aku. God, I loveee perempuan manja, comel, tak kurus sangat, kecik... Hurmm.. :"> Bukan perempuan yang buat-buat manja k?

But it just felt wrong with them Japanese. Sigh, why are they so fukken weird?

Itu belom bile aku travel, masuk bas, masuk tren, jalan-jalan, dok dengar dorang berborak sesama sendiri and laughing together with their squeaky little voices which freaks me out a bit.




Hurm.

Tapi tu la kan..

Erm..


"Eleh, cuba sorang awek Jepun bogel depan ko,
ape ko buat?"




Er..







Teeheeeeeeeeeeeee :">






P/s : Don't think. Don't fucking think. Because when you think you realize just how fucked up everything really is. You realize you don't fucking know how you got where you are, you don't know where you're going and you don't know what to do anymore. So, stop thinking.

Toilet Paper #1 - Site Tuka Nama



Lately, I've been thinking about this site's name. It's getting lame I guess.

Whosyourmom.blogspot.com WTF? I guess I'm ashamed of that name :">

So here comes tonight. I think I'm gonna change this blog's site to a new URL.

Forget whosyourmom. This blog will no longer can be accessed by that name and I'm gonna put my own name as the new URL.

Effective immediately.

I'm sure some readers would probably get confused with the sudden disappearance of the whosyourmom site. But I guess they'll find out eventually. :)

New identity, new blog name, new URL. But no worries, nothing's gonna change about the content. Craps and shits as usual. =)

So, here goes. Goodbye whosyourmom.blogspot.com


And welcome, zaidradzai.blogspot.com!



P/s : Senyum bahagia!

Shit Video #3 - Youtube Five Second Movies




This is extremely some old shit, and I've already discovered these videos like a year ago but trust me guys, if you have the exact same sense of humour as I have, you'll be laughing your ass off.

I dunno, it gets me all the time. Pity all the producers, directors, script-writers of those movies to work very hard on making their movie one of the best out there but this son of a bitch manage to make the best out of it, which was even better than the real 1-2hour movie.

Yeah, you actually have to watch the actual movie before taking a peek on these parodies and understanding it. Kalau tak paham jugak tu, hurmmm, let's just our sense of humour isn't the same.

There are tonnes of 5second movies out there on Youtube, but to me, not all of 'em are super hilarious. Most of them are quite lame, too.

Anyways. I have my own favorites. The credit goes to the person by the name "That Guy With The Glasses"


Enjoy.

























Right, right?? 5second movies are the best!



P/s : I love my type.

What I Hate About Japan #8 - Overwhelming Excitement



What an excitement feeling of knowing your beloved sister was having her best day of her life getting married to her husband while you're far away not being able to attend that wedding. Geez I missed two big weddings in my whole life right now, which was my eldest brother's, and yesterday, my sister's. Sucks right? Totally.




But that's not what I'm gonna write right now. Yesterday was quite a day to me. You know about those fiesta-event thingy some universities handled right before the graduation day? Yang semua orang excited nak bukak kedai tapi haram tak tolong langsung? Yeaaa, that day.

Now yesterday, my college set up that event and we the Malaysians over here had just opened up our booth of Malaysian food. We sell sate, roti john, dadih and some other kind of you know, Malaysian stuff. Yeah, we do that all day.

No, this is not about what I hate of Japan. Let's get to the point first.

The Japanese as we know it, are one kind of a race where they tend to take good care of others' feelings. Yes, despite what they've been in the past, where they've been ruling our Tanah Melayu and pancung-pancung people everyday. Now they've been better. LOL

And at first, I really appreciate what they're doing. Semedang dok nak jaga hati orang je kan. Well, of course, we all love that effort, don't we?

Everytime I go to the convenience store, or any restaurant, I'd give three thumbs up for the service here. They really acted like they were serving us customers as their God. Hey, I'm serious.

It's like we the customers, are their God. And it doesn't make any difference just because I'm the outsider. They even serve good service to their own people.

All those smile, and all those charming act were really meaningful to us customers. We would never get more stressed out when we go to those places. They would do anything just to maintain their service at a higher state that would bring appreciation from us.

And right before last Aidilfitri, I went back to Malaysia, and I was feeling quite strange when dealing with the service our people provide for us.

And it was ironic, though. It's like at the second I walked out from that plane, the environment suddenly changed.

From


"Wow, it's so good being back home! :D"



Until I entered the chocolate store in KLIA, to buy some chocolates, I was like



"Hm."


Because you know why? Our people don't treat their customers that way. And it feels kinda odd to being treated like a stranger in their own shop when you're only used to 100% quality service of the people here in Japan.

I don't wanna sound gay or anything but the service sucks in Malaysia. In here when you pay the things you buy, they would focus all of their attention to you, but in Malaysia, hurmmm. I remembered back then when I was at this 7-Eleven in Malaysia once, the cashier did quite a good job to impress me, because he reminded me to the Japanese here, he treated me well. Itu pon sekali je aku jumpa. Respect la mamat tu.

But the others? Geez. Sambil-sambil aku hulur duit nak bayar bole plak die tak henti ngumpat dengan rakan sekerja die kat sebelah. Sampai tak pandang aku langsung. Pastu dok ngutuk negara sendiri, itu la apa la. Baiki diri sendiri dulu sebelum bantai orang lain. [Yes, pesanan untuk aku jua :">]

Okay, that's enough bashing my own country :"> Let's get back to this What-I-Hate-About-Japan thingy.

When you already used to good service, you know there's a limit, don't you? I realized this shit when I went to this restaurant nearby, and this one waiter was overacting her service. She was really really, I mean really guys, she had this particular overwhelming excitement of shit glowing around her that apparently, we're not stupid enough to know that it was all a God damn lie.

She smiled so hard we all know it was fake enough to realize. She gets her voice tone high enough to know that it's not normal to speak with people that way.

Everything was quite an act. Sampai rasa cam gampang. Yes, I know it's good for them to treating customets their way, but could you do it a bit less more obvious that you're acting?

It's like she was making a fool out of herself. Kesian die. Kalau rasa senyum tak ikhlas tu sudah lah.

Kesian, kesian. Orang Jepun ni memang pelik-pelik. Cacat betoi.





But what makes it ironic is that when we had our Malaysian food selling yesterday, we treated our customer just the way they did. LOL!

Anyways, thanks, Malaysians of Gifu! I really had a great time yesterday! :D

Minna Otsukaresama deshita!



P/s : Occasionally, in a relationship. the word 'Someday' means never.