Women are unique. Yes, they are. Doesn't it sometimes crosses our straight male minds about how attractive their body really is to us? Those curvy little piece of booty behind their back and everything about their body is just - curvy. Just curvy. Damn.
And it do bothers me about why the curviness of a woman's body [is there a word?] always succeeded to suddenly make our penises turn bigger and bigger. Why does it?
I look at my round-shaped pillow all day and nothing ever happens to my penis, that's for sure. But as a lonely fuck, when I browse through the internet and "accidentally" sees a nude picture of a women, there you have it. We get excited all the time.
And end up exhausted. Huh~huh.
I've lived long enough to realize that I like wimmens' body, just the way they are. They make me happy. I believe that the curves in their body is a direct correlation with how many penises get high just looking at them naked.
C'mon ladies, don't look at me like I'm the only pervy guy in the world. At least I have the courtesy to write it down. I'm actually complimenting you.
You see, I get it why God created the Vagina. It's a hole, and that hole will be matched with the Penis from us guys. That, to me, made a perfect match. A hole and a stick? Look how creative our God is. And from every pair of Vaginas and Penises, after the sexual intercourse, another human being will be born from it.
But what I don't get is, the breasts these women have. Why do they have to be so curvy, round and soft? And what's their pair to us men? Our scrotum? Hurmm, that seems plausible. But geez, those breasts, man. It fucks the crap out of me.
Ladies, I'm not trying to be rude or anything, but I gotta tell you something. Don't get offended, but you need to hear this out.
I love womans' breasts the most.
There. Phew, that was easy. Thank you for backing me up guys.
You see, I appreciate them, ladies. Small or large, don't feel bad, as long as they're your own, I appreciate them. I really wish I could have a pair for myself.
Not on me, though. I'm not a freak. You know, just like a nice pair that I could carry around with me and every now and then I could just reach over to them and honking them with my hand as they would please me. It'd be nice, you know. They're fucking soft.
Kinda wish I could install them in my first car in the future where the airbags are, you know. I dunno, when I get bored, maybe I'd just drive my car around, keep crashing into stuffs all day.
Won't it be fun? I won't be scared at all about having an accident just about anytime. But instead, I'd really wish for it to happen. Everytime I'd crash something, that moment would be the moment I'd enjoy about having surprise breasts soft cushions as the safety airbags on my face.
I can do every move I love with those breasts, you know "WOBBLE-WOBBLE" "BRRRRRRRRR [sambil geleng2 kepala]". It'd be very much exciting indeed.
And that'd be worth it, you see. Instead of being scared you might be dead because of the accident, those breasts will ease your pain inside!
Hurm kapirnya ayat...
Anyways, how about you ladies? Do you wish about keeping a fake penis in your handbag? No, obviously I'm not talking about dildos or anything, that'd be personal, am I right?
Just a penis so you can squeeze the balls everytime you get mad at your boyfriend and imagine that one is his. Or the one which you can shoot white-colour acid liquid to actual perverts' eyes everytime you got mugged or sexually harassed in the streets every once in a while. Hell, you may be no longer need those lame pepper spray, you know. A fake penis is enough for your own safety. I'm just saying.
We should start a new hobby of these, you know. Let's collect fake breasts and fake penises just for fun.
P/s : "I just want you to know that this is by far the biggest mistake of your life and there's actually nothing you can do to fix it."
Credit to Russell Peters for the idea.