Sexist #15 - Nice Guys Listen Up

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You hear it all the time

"He was such a NICE guy, and she's such a heartless bitch for dumping him."

I hear all kinds of fuckery from self-professed Nice Guys, *heck, even from me back then* complaining that women must WANT to be treated like shit, because THEY, the Nice Guy, have failed repeatedly in relationships. This is similar to the false logic that

"Whales are mammals. Whales live in the sea. Therefore, all mammals live in the sea."

No.

If you have one bad relationship after another, the only common denominator is you. Fucking think carefully about it, will ya?

So, what's wrong with Nice Guys? The biggest problem is that most of them fuckers are hideously insecure. They are so anxious to be liked and loved that they do things for other people to gain acceptance and yes I know this is really sad to hear - to gain attention. Yes, they are really into all of that craps rather than for the simply pleasure of giving. You never know if a Nice Guy really likes you for who you are, or if he suddenly gets into you out of desperation because you actually paid some kind of attention to him.

Nice Guys have massive insecurities upon themselves - a big red carpet for the predators of the world. There are women out there who are "users" - just looking for a sucker to take advantage of. "Users" never take Nice Guys seriously. They stroke their egos, take them for a ride, add a notch to their belts, and move on, as long as they take the benefit out of that sucker. It's no wonder so many Nice Guys complain about women being so horrible, when the so-often kind of women that gets attracted to them is the lowest form of life.

Self confident, caring, decent-hearted women find Nice Guys to be too clingy, self-abasing, and insecure.

Nice Guys go extreme and obsessive. They bring roses to a Let's-Get-Together-For-A-Coffee date. They try to buy her affections with presents and fancy things. They think they know about romance, but their timing is all wrong, and they either come on too strong, too had, or too fast. OR, they are so shy and having the lack of confidence, that they hang around pretending to be "friends", in the hope that somehow, someday, they will get the courage up to ask her out for a date.

They are so desperate to please that they put aside their own needs, and place of their desire on a support. Instead of appreciating her, they worship her. We are only human, and depending on a support from a women is narrow, confining places to be - not to mention the fact that we tend to fall off of them.

They cling to her, and want to be the "ONE" with her for fear that she is out of sight, she may disappear or become attracted to someone else. A Nice Guy often has trouble with emotional intimacy. Because he believes that if she learns about the REAL person inside, she will no longer love him.

Nice Guys are always asking HER to make the decisions. They think it's being equal, but it puts an unfair responsibility on her, and gives him the opportunity to blame her if the decision was an unwise one.

Nice Guys rarely speak up when something bothers them, and rarely state clearly what it is they want, need, and expect. They fear any kind of conflict might spell the end of the relationship. Instead of compromising and negotiating, they repeatedly "give in". When she doesn't appreciate their sacrifice, they will complain that

"Everything I did, I did it for her." *And yes, I used to complain a LOT about this one. Fuck me.*

As if this somehow honours them to the status of "pejuang". A woman doesn't want a "pejuang". She wants an equal, caring, adult partner.

Nice Guys think that they will never meet anyone as special as she is. They use their adoration as a foundation for claiming that

"No one will ever love her as much as I do."

Instead of being a profound statement of their devotion, this is a subtle, but nasty insult. It is similar to saying to her that

"You are a difficult person, and only I can ever truly love you, so be thankful I'm here, you fucking whore."

The Nice Guy need to believe that he is the best person for the object of his desires, because otherwise his insecurities will overrun him with jealousy and fear. The truth of the matter is that there are many people out there who can be a good match for her. We rarely stop loving people we truly care about. Even if we no longer continue the relationship, the feelings will continue.

But love isn't mutually exclusive. We can, and do, love many people in our lives, and romance is really no different. Though he may love her immensely, there will likely be other people who have loved her just as much in her past, and will love her just as much in the future. The irony of it all is

"Who would want to go out with someone who was unlovable anyways?"

And then, more than loving the women in his life, a Nice Guy NEEDS her.

"She is my life, my only source of happiness..."

"I need you, Atin. I could never live without you." <-- Hoyeah, this is me, 18 months ago.

YECH! What kind of a burden is that to place on her? That SHE has to be responsible for YOUR happiness? Get a grip and stop being such a pussy, you fucking douche bag.

Another mistake Nice Guys make is to go after "hard luck" cases. They deliberately pick women with problems, depressions, and personality disorders, because Nice Guys are "helpers". A Nice Guy think that by "helping" this woman, it will make him a better, more lovable person. He thinks it will give him a sense of accomplishment, and that she will appreciate and love him more, for all his efforts and sacrifice.

Aaaaaannnd yes, he is usually disappointed by the results. Because it doesn't work that way. You "help" a women today, tomorrow, another Nice Guy "help" her to get her out from your life. And the circle continues.

This ultimately boils down to the fact that Nice Guys don't like/hate themselves. In order to truly love someone else, you have to learn to love yourself first. Too often Nice Guys' mistake obsession for "love".

Get this, Nice Guys :

INSECURITY ISN'T SEXY. IT'S A TURNOFF.

You don't have to be an ego-inflated, arrogant jerk. Just be a normal "asshole", in a way that normal "bitches" would actually be attracted to. You just have to appreciate yourself even more. You have to know what you want out of life, and go after it. Only then will you be attractive to the kind of women with whom a long term relationship is possible.

TL;DR huh?

Stop being such a clingy fag. Be yourself, care for her, but don't lay it on too thick [unless you're in the bedroom having sex] or she'll leave you for me.



P/s : Be a nice guy later. Right now you have to be an asshole to score chicks.


Source of idea and writings : An info thread from /b/. I won't post the link here, because the thread's already been deleted.

AUTHOR : ZED RADZAI


6 comments:

WeenAzura said...

lol
when ur in love,u dont really realise whether ur pathetic or not.it all comes as a slap in the face ONLY after u've moved on - if ur normal, that is.


on a side note: i don't think being an asshole to score chicks works (on most girls). playing hard to get,maybe.haha

zedRadzai said...

@ween
haha i know, like i said before, i didn't mean being an asshole as in being an an ego-inflated, arrogant jerk. the asshole here has an apostrophe, as in i-don't-know-any-good-word-to-describe-it LOL YEAH PROBABLY 'PLAYING HARD TO GET' COULD FIT IN PERFECTLY IN IT.

Imma write about that later.

Anonymous said...

i like! 1000x

Aku bukan Juliet. said...

hahaha.at some points,i'm 100% agree with u.

"Nice Guys are always asking HER to make the decisions. They think it's being equal, but it puts an unfair responsibility on her, and gives him the opportunity to blame her if the decision was an unwise one"

TOTALLY a turn-off.And sometimes could be really annoying.

Aslina said...

why r all nice guy always like that??

chill sudah laa...

baik sangat pun bukan bagus sangat untuk kesihatan. LOL.

btw, normal asshole kdg2 sexy jugak :D

Afiqah Mohammad said...

haha. normal asshole is a turn on!
i cant agree more. insecurity really isn't sexy!.